


Silence Isn't Golden

by jubunu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Main Character was a Demon's Chewtoy, Violence, Wordcount: Over 30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 07:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3319304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jubunu/pseuds/jubunu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On at least one occasion, it’s probable that you have heard the phrase “silence is golden”. Some have added humor by inserting “and duct tape is silver” at the end. While in most cases the saying is to be joked about or said with a smile. But not in this case; not in Alexandra’s case. Not when silence is both what saves your life and prosecutes you at the same time. No, to her, silence is blood-red.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chains Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After so many years of experiencing the same brutal life, Alexandra's life is shaken by the arrival of to strange men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case it might upset anyone, this story has quite a bit of violence and basic descriptions of past torture. This chapter has one scene involving the main character being tortured, but it's short. It starts on the 12th chapter and is three paragraphs long, but most of the content in those paragraphs are back stories/explanations so it shouldn't be too graphic.

On at least one occasion, it’s probable that you have heard the phrase “silence is golden”; some have even added humor by inserting “and duct tape is silver” at the end. In most cases the saying is to be joked about or said with a smile, but not in this case; not in Alexandra’s case. Not when silence is both what saves your life and prosecutes you at the same time. No, to her, silence is blood red. Days slip by one by one, in both a smooth sequence and also jarred by unique events with no end in sight and the beginning falling behind, forgotten. Sleep is a relief, but also dreaded. Eating is fulfilling, while at the same time an assurance she’ll be there to suffer for just that many more days.

As soon as a noise entered her head, Alex instantly forced her mind awake with a voluntary rush of adrenaline- a well practice act. The darkness of her room was too quickly enveloped in blinding light, therefore she shoved her hand up to block it from piercing her eyes. Though by now of course it was better to have a little painful light in her eyes than to not be aware of who or what was approaching her. When the footsteps moved from the doorway she instantly dropped her arm and looked up at today’s first visitor of the day- and it looked to be Randel. A tall man with dark red hair and quite a bit of stubble just a shade darker, dark eyes, and muscular yet still thin. Though, that was of course only the appearance of the man he was hiding within- demons did that, as she accidentally discovered while eavesdropping.

She quickly slipped her feet underneath her and pushed herself up to stand by the time he reached her. Without words he reached around her and noisily unlocked the cuffs on her wrists. Though it wasn’t necessary for her wrists to be bound together since she didn’t have anywhere to escape to with the door locked, they still did it, and had for her entire time there.

“Come on.” He said casually and shoved her lightly forward- probably just to watch her stumble. She walked very carefully to make sure her bare feet didn’t make any noise as they crossed the cement to the door. She stood as patiently as a sheep watching its shepherd while he locked the door behind them, and followed without questioning. It’d been this way for so long. The sound of chains rattling on the other side of the door they approached still managed to form a knot in her stomach though. It had been a few days since she’d been brought out of her room, which meant things had been going smoothly for her captor’s interests, but the fact that they were bringing her out _now_ meant things had gone downhill. This meant she was once again, for the billionth time, going to be punished as an outlet of his anger. It was sick, it was wrong, but she didn’t have a single say in it. She knew all too well to not question or rebel against it.

Randel shoved the thick wooden door open to reveal that familiar room, and led her to the familiar chains on the wall. With complete obedience, though not without inward disgust, she knelt down and held her wrists out for the heavy cuffs to be locked around her wrists once more. With the length of the chain she had discovered she was able to rest her arms on her knees if she knelt, but if she sat regularly they would be suspended, which would cause the muscles to grow sore- though sore arms would be a glory if that was all the pain she was to endure. He left without a word.

A door slammed incredibly loudly from somewhere else, pulling her attention back to the grim world around her. She shifted on her knees warily and nervously straightened the plain tee shirt and shorts she had been provided with. The door in front of her slammed open, hitting the wall hard enough to shake some dust particles freely into the air. Alex instantly dropped her eyes to the ground. When she dared to tip her chin up to see what was going on she flinched- Christopher was standing inches in front of her. She heard him scoff at her jumpy behavior and watched in contained terror as he squatted down to look in her eyes.

Christopher was a middle-aged man with black hair cut short on the sides but medium on the top, and it looked like he used gel to shape it. He had some stubble on his chin but was relatively well shaved, and always wore jeans and a black leather jacket. He was a demon too of course, and the worst she’d encountered.

She dropped her eyes as soon as his flashed black, but he forcefully grabbed her chin and jerked it up sharply to force her to look. He didn’t have his cocky smile that normally cloaked his face, but had a scarily straight and concentrative visage. He dropped her chin and then knocked her jaw with his knuckles as he stood up. She barely had time to look up when he was back and drug a knife across the top of her thighs- apparently he was getting right to the action today. She clamped her teeth and blinked away the burning sensation from the front of her mind. Not a single sound escaped her lips, or even made it into her through- exactly as he’s trained her.

For the first year of her forced life with Christopher and his henchmen, things were messy, bloody, and truly horrific. She was twelve at the time and had just come home from book club after school. She dropped her bags, wandered to the living room where her dad was normally stationed, and instead found him standing in the middle of the room, soaked with blood, standing over the fresh corpse of her mother. He had a bowl of blood in his hand, and stricken as she was, she still clearly remembers the smile that spread across his mouth as his eyes went pitch black. Darker than the night and _definitely_ not humanly possible. She tucked tail and ran, but her father’s blood-slick hand wrapped around her wrist inhumanely fast, something knocked her head, and she woke up in the same chains she sat in now. Though she didn’t think things could get much worse than what had just happened, it easily did when she entered her firsthand experience of being tortured for the first time. Sliced with knives, kicked, beaten, bleeding, broken. At first, she fought like she didn’t even know she could. Of course, her brother had been teaching her kickboxing, so that helped. She’d scream, kick, pull away, she bit them all many different times- but after a while, they don’t just break your bones; they break your _soul;_ your will to fight. As they drug her into another year of being their chew-toy, Christopher started to get bored. He’d decided he had enough with her shouting at them, calling for help that wasn’t coming, and screaming when injured. Instead, he wanted her silent, for twisted reasons unknown to Alex up to this day. And he stuck to that game plan unerringly. Every sound she made caused her more pain, though it was followed by another lash to see if she could keep quiet. It was a continuous morbid loop, and it wasn’t long before she caught on and adapted. Now, though she shouldn’t be proud of it, she was completely mute-by-choice. After so many years of practice, now nothing they did could get her to make any sounds at all.

But with so little to hold on to, she didn’t want to lose speaking completely. Therefore, she took to talking to herself as quietly as a voice can get in the middle of the night, during the calm before the storm. So she _can_ talk, but she knows very well that any form of communication toward Christopher would end in being beaten nearly to death. They fed her or course, let her shower on occasion, and dressed the really bad wounds so she would heal faster to be ready for more.

Christopher laughed deeply to himself and turned away, walking to the other side of the room. Alex glanced down at the red line growing on her thighs before looking up to watch him. He was at a table and holding something, but his back was to her and she couldn’t see quite what it was. She knew they wouldn’t budge, but she still tested the chains on her wrists. Maybe one day she might be able to get her hands out. But she wouldn’t know what to do after that- then she’d be locked in with a now furious demon, so it seemed getting out would be worse than obeying.  He turned back around and walked back over with the same knife in his hand.

“Come on babe, tell me, how are you doing today?” He coaxed with a cunning smirk. He knew she wasn’t going to answer, and enjoyed the satisfaction he got from seeing how well he’d trained her to be silent. She simply dropped her eyes to the floor. “Stand up.” He hissed and kicked her knee. She jumped to her feet surprisingly fast considering it burned to move her legs, but by now she was pretty used to it. “Look at me.” He spat and placed the tip of the knife on the crook where her shoulder met her neck. She instantly did so and he glared at her. He dug the blade into her shoulder anyway and she grimaced, grinding her teeth together. “I said; how are you?!” He shouted, his voice booming and reverberating around the room. She of course flinched, and he hissed before turning and walking back across the room.

He was angry. It wasn’t that she hadn’t seen him mad, but normally he took joy in carving her up; all smiles, twisted jokes, and sick laughter. Anger meant heat. It seemed to be a common trend that when Christopher was mad, he turned to heat. Nearly boiling water, lit cigarettes, or a lighter a little too close to her skin. Her worries were confirmed when a furl of smoke lifted from in front of him, and he turned around with a lit cigarette pinched expertly between his fingers. He stiffly crossed the room inhumanly fast and right to her. She stepped back in a bout of fear until her shoulders were against the wall and the bolts where the chains were attached to the wall were poking into the small of her back. He stepped closer though until he was standing with his body barely inches from hers, him towering a whole foot above hers. Alex sucked in a breath and held it, bringing up her hands protectively the moment he stepped back. She was treated with the end pressed against the inside of her forearm. She snapped her eyes shut. It lifted and another spot was seared an inch away. Of course she still had a glimmer of an instinct to shout or hiss in pain, but it was so suppressed that she would actually have to think about it in order to do so. When it lifted a sound rattled in the distance.

She peeked her eyes open as Christopher turned around. He turned and ran his fingers up her arm like arts marching in a line before slipping to the door and walking out. She quickly let out her breath sharply and dropped back to her knees. Her thighs and shoulder stung wildly and the burns were still red hot, but at least he was distracted for a while.

But she didn’t hear the expected sounds of talking that she would have expected- instead she heard sounds of what seemed to be impacts, like people fighting. Had one of Christopher’s two followers made him angry? Normally he only took out his anger on her, but she was glad it was someone else for once. There was a shout and she locked her eyes on the door. Something dropped loudly outside the door and she tugged against the chains- what was going on? Those weren’t normal sounds- not once did she hear any of that for the many years she’d been there. Suddenly the door burst open and Randel came in backwards, his arms flailing as he attempted to keep his balance. Another man had shoved him into the room and struck at him with a knife. He was very tall, and had sort of long brown hair and a brown coat. Alex simply scooted back against the wall and ducked her head- maybe if she curled up small enough they would just leave her alone for once.

She did peek up in time to see another man enter though, and seconds later the taller one _stabbed Randel_. She was utterly surprised when he actually slowed then somehow fell to the ground seemingly dead. But demons weren’t killable; she’d managed to stab one before it he only pulled it out and stabbed her back- were these guys even stronger than Randel; than _Christopher_? Cold fear dripped down her spine despite the burning on her more recent injuries. The new man, this one shorter with a leather jacket, noticed her and moved toward her. Crap- was he going to hurt her? Was he even human; was he another demon? She clamped her eyes shut in preparation to be hurt, and flinched when he spoke.

“Sammy,” He shouted quickly and she felt the chains on her wrist move. Were they taking her somewhere else? What happened to Christopher? She hadn’t experienced change of any sort for years, so she had no idea how to deal with this. She snapped her eyes back open to find the shorter one trying to get her attention. “Where are the keys?” He asked, but she only stared back- if she talked she’d get punished, didn’t they know that? Talking wasn’t allowed, no type of communication was. The taller one, ‘Sammy’, knelt down to meet her wide eyes as well.

“We’re gonna get you out,” He stated, then looked around. Another sound crashed somewhere else in the building, sounds like someone pounding on a door, and both men stood up.

“Get down.” The shorter one said while bending over once again. He pressed his hand against the back of her head and forced her to duck then stood back up. As he raised a gun Alex covered her head as best as she could as the wall behind her exploded loudly a few times. The chains fell loudly to the ground and she turned around with wide eyes- he’d blown off the hook connecting her right off the wall. The door to their right slammed loud enough to hear the wood crack a little and Devin came striding in hotly.

Devin was the second henchman of Christopher and was incredibly well built. Average height with tons of muscle mass and anger always clear in his features. He looked like one of those body-builders that resembled a balloon animal. The shorter man turned and crashed into him, sending out a few punches and pushing him back a bit. The taller one instead grabbed Alex’s wrist, surprising her. She was still stuck on the fact that they broke the chains- breaking something of Christopher’s was definitely not going to end well at all; what were they _thinking_? She stood quickly as he pulled her to her feet, and followed obediently as he tugged her to the door. This was wrong- Christopher was going to practically kill her; though she knew he would never fully kill her, he had too much fun with her.

There was a shout and she turned to look as the shorter man was shoved back at least four feet before he slammed onto the ground. He rebounded much like a cat and stumbled toward his friend.

“Go, go!” He shouted and shoved her shoulder to get her into the hall. But her feet felt like lead- everything they had already done was going to get her hurt, but running away? That just might get her killed. Maybe they were taking her as her own; whatever was going on though, she would just have to obey to soften the circumstances. The taller man therefore simply tugged her along like a dog on a leash through the halls. The other man turned around and fired the gun at what she assumed was most likely Devin. Had they gotten Christopher? Were they going to be her new Christopher? Before she could think further they were suddenly outside. It had been _months_ since she’d been outside. It was incredible, as if the pure air was trying to soothe the burning injuries spread across her body. Of course she still had the cuffs on her wrists, but she’d wrapped the loose chain around her unburned arm to keep them from clanging around in the movement.

A car stood at the other side of the parking lot, and it must have been theirs because they B-lined straight to it. Everyone was breathing hard but quiet, so when Alex accidentally dropped the chain and it hit the gravel she ducked her head and covered it with her arms. The shorter one got into the driver’s seat, and the tall one opened the door and guided her into the car with surprisingly gentle movements. He sprinted around and got in the other side next to her, and she reflexively scooted away to get as far from him as she could as he turned to watch her with tired and concerned hazel eyes.


	2. Trepidation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though her body was patched up, Alex's mind still burned with fear. Everything was changing so suddenly, but she still figures it's in her best interest to remain silent.

“Well that was a load of crap- Thought you said it was only one.” The man in the driver seat proclaimed hotly after they pulled out sharply and were on the road. Alex sat with wide eyes in an attempt to prepare herself for anything. She twisted sharply in her seat, despite the burning it caused her gashed shoulder, to scan her eyes over the shrinking sight of her previous entrapment. So _that_ was what it looked like on the outside- a normal, old, massive warehouse with rusted containment units and a few scrapped cars in the front. Windows painted black would explain the lack of light besides the artificial lights spread out in the hallways. She quickly turned back around to watch these new people as the man beside her spoke up.

“I said we saw one on tape- how was I supposed to know there was going to be five? And that’s just the ones we saw.” He spat then glanced at Alex. Five? She’d only ever seen three, but it wasn’t as if she got to roam around freely. She’d heard many different voices during her time there, so it wouldn’t be hard to believe there were over ten there. “Here, ‘gimme the cuffs.” He said and reached out toward Alex. She instinctively pressed her side to the window, pulled her arms and legs toward herself, and stared with wide eyes. He faltered for a second then sighed. “My name’s Sam, and that’s my brother, Dean.” He nodded his head toward Dean.

“Those were demons,” The new man- Dean- explained, but she already knew that. She’d heard Randel say that before, and it made sense considering their complete hostility and horrid actions. She glanced at him then back to Sam.

“I can get the cuffs off.” Sam explained and held his hand out toward her once again. Fearing they weren’t going to ask politely again since Christopher wouldn’t have even explained, she turned her body to face him and held her wrists out. He leaned forward to get something from the passenger seat then sat back down with some slender tools in his hand. She’d never seen them before, but he seemed to have a plan. When he looked back up at her he froze and his eyes widened, “H-holy crap.” He stammered and set the tools down. He shrugged off his coat and leaned toward her, causing her to snap her eyes shut and flinch away. She felt him clamp it down heavily on her shoulder- which burned with the pressure- realizing he was reacting to the gash Christopher had given her. He must have not seen it since that side hadn’t been facing him. “Why didn’t you say something?” He asked loudly and she peeked her eyes open. Say something? And get _beaten?_ She simply stared at him with wide eyes.

“What? What’s going on?” Dean asked sharply and glanced through the mirror before peering over his shoulder to glance at them while trying to watch the road as well.

“She’s hurt. She’ll be okay.” Sam breathed, “Hold that there.” He explained to her, and she replaced his hands when he removed them. It wasn’t the worst wound she’d received by far, but she was glad to have something to help. But his coat? That didn’t seem right, not one bit. He sat back and seemed to look her over before reaching forward and picking up her wrist again. He picked up one of the little tools and started picking at the lock, and after a few seconds it clicked sharply and opened up- she definitely need to learn how to do that. She pulled her freed wrist back against her chest as he picked up her other arm. He opened that one even quicker, but didn’t give her hand back right away. He instead was glaring at her arm, and she realized he was inspecting either the recent burn marks or other scars. For some reason she didn’t scar too easily, which was extremely lucky, but she did have quite a few. “Did all of this just happen?” He asked and motioned toward her arm, then her shoulder before releasing her wrist. She tugged it up against her chest as well and replied by simply dropping her eyes to watch her feet. Dean glanced back at them again and ground his teeth visibly.

“Should have gotten there sooner.” He remarked quietly with calm voice that sounded forced. Both brothers went silent for a few seconds before Dean spoke again. “What’s your name, kid?” He was asking her to talk again- was this a joke, a trick? Not wanting to set herself up to get hurt, she just scooted to lean against the window again. Dean glanced at his brother with raised eyebrows. “Cat got your tongue?” He asked jokingly with a slight smirk, but seemed still rather stressed about the situation. Why would a _cat_ have her _tongue_? That sounded extremely unlikely to happen.

“Dean, leave her alone.” Sam said after a few seconds, and a glance toward him revealed he had a concentrated expression and was analyzing her warily. It was silent for a while longer, which was familiar and relaxing to Alex, until they slowed to a stop. They were at a motel, one unfamiliar to Alex- come to think of it, she hadn’t even known where she was until she saw a sign- a place called Rangely. She didn’t recognize the town, though, and didn’t even know what state she was in. It was a long time ago, but before she was taken she lived in Vernal, Utah.

“We’re staying here at a motel while we’re,” Sam spoke and paused for a second, “Working. Let’s go in and get you fixed up, and when we know it’s safe we can bring you, well,” he paused again in an attempt to decide what to say then shrugged, “Anywhere. Home, a hospital.” He smiled apologetically and got out, and she obediently did the same. It was evening and the sun was setting, but it wasn’t all that cold yet, which was nice. Alex turned around and looked over her surroundings- there were only two other cars in the parking lot, and when she noticed Dean get out she turned to follow him. Her legs stung quite a bit, and more so now that she’d stood up, therefore she used her hand not holding the coat to her shoulder down to try and wipe at the blood there. When Dean turned to face her she straightened up but kept her head down.

            He cursed under his breath and murmured, “Come on,” and gently pulled her by her elbow to guide her to their room- the sight of her bloody state would most likely upset bystanders. Sam unlocked the door and opened it while hefting a backpack off his shoulder. Alex walked in after Dean and watched as he moved instantly to the sink. Sam walked in and set his bag on the ground near the door, but she wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself. She didn’t know these people, but they hadn’t hurt her yet and seemed to want to help. Though sometimes Randel had helped her out, and her nerves were still strung incredible tight.

            “You can sit down.” Sam said after a few seconds, and she hesitated before moving to sit on the end of one of the two beds. Dean turned around and came back with a wet rag and held it out to her. She hesitated to see what he was planning, then very timidly took it and gently dabbed at the cut across her legs. It wasn’t deep, but it was long and didn’t feel too great. Sam walked over and knelt down to look at the cut, though how close he was standing stopped the air in Alex’s lungs. When he stood back up she exhaled sharply, but still silently- no need to encourage them to hurt her. They both talked a lot, but being silent was what she was supposed to do. Even though these men were new and might not have the same rules as Christopher, there was still the chance Christopher would know she’d been talking, and that was too big of a risk since they’d only just left.

            “I don’t think those need stitches, but your shoulder might.” He explained quietly and glanced at Dean. “We have anything for burns?” He asked and pursed his lips. Dean frowned and his eyebrows furrowed, “Don’t think so- she got burnt?” He walked over to stand next to Sam and Alex stiffened- they both towered over her even if she had been standing. Christopher had been a bit shorter than they were, but it was still freaking her out a decent amount. Dean blinked and glanced from her to Sam a few times before she realized he probably wanted to see. She gingerly held up her right arm with her palm facing up, glancing across the two circular burns still red and stinging on her arm. Luckily Christopher hadn’t burned her too often because it _still_ felt hot and burned. Dean stiffened and let out a strained sigh. Assuming he was annoyed that she was injured, she pulled her arm back against her chest.

            “Here, can I see your shoulder?” Sam asked and she slowly moved his coat and set it on her lap, then stuck her thumb under the collar of her shirt and pulled it down over her shoulder. The movement flashed new pain across her neck and left shoulder, but she stayed still and quiet.

            Dean drew in a sharp intake of air then let it out with a quiet whistle. “God, that looks painful,” He rubbed his face and moved to the door, “I’ll get the kit.” He added then slipped out, leaving the door slightly ajar. Sam leaned against the side of the bed next to her and crossed his arms.

“You alright with us stitching you? We can bring you to a hospital, but you would be safer where we can protect you. We didn’t catch all the demons that were there, so they’re gonna be ticked.” Sam said with a calm, practiced voice. Alex stiffened and dropped her gaze- so they _didn’t_ get all of them. Did they get Christopher? They got Randel, she didn’t know about Devin, and they had mentioned two more- they would surely be looking for her. Especially Christopher; more times than she could count he’d remarked about how much he liked having her around- of course only to torture as an outlet for anger- and that she would never leave. But today she _did_ leave. Surely he would find her though, they always seemed one step ahead- she was still baffled that Sam and Dean had gotten her this far in the first place.

Dean walked back in and handed a first aid kit to Sam, but he sat silently and watched Alex. She realized he was probably waiting for an answer, but she surely wasn’t going to speak and risk getting hurt any more.

“What?” Dean said nervously and frowned.

“I don’t know, she won’t say anything. I can’t just start sticking her with a needle, and she won’t answer me.” Sam said with a frustrated tone and shrugged his shoulders with a very confused expression. Alex shifted her gaze from Sam to Dean as Dean knelt down to look at her face.

“Can you talk?” He asked blatantly and she dropped her gaze to the ground. She _could_ , but she shouldn’t, it wasn’t allowed, it hadn’t been for years now. “Hey,” he said a little softer, though she still flinched, her eyes widening, “We gotta stitch you up, you’re still bleedin’ out. You tell us to stop if you want, all right? Do anything, hit him or something if you can’t talk.” She dared to pull her eyes back up and watch him, glancing at Sam as well. After a second Dean let out a sharp sigh and nodded at Sam before walking to the table. She turned to watch Sam when he moved and opened the box, but quickly averted her eyes when he started pulling out gauze, bandages, and a needle and thread. Randel had stitched her up quite a few times, but that didn’t mean she liked it at all. But the idea of going to hospital wasn’t very pleasant either- she’d always been scared of them as a child, and the few times Christopher had actually sent her to one were not the most relaxing of times.

She jumped when he sat next to her and moved the collar of her shirt again. She dropped her own hand, but he sighed and let go.

“I can’t do it with your shirt like this, I’m gonna cut the sleeve, okay? This isn’t gonna heal if we don’t stitch it.” He waited a few seconds then seemed to catch on that she wasn’t going to say anything and turned to dig around in the first aid kit. Dean walked back over and held out a bottle of what appeared to be whiskey to her. Was he asking her to drink it- did she _have_ to? She really didn’t want to. Christopher had given her some once, but it burned and she spat it out, so he punched her. She had a black eye and bruises on her cheek for days. Dean seemed annoyed at her lack of response and set the bottle down stiffly next to Sam before moving backwards and sitting down at the table across the room to watch her with suspicious eyes. They both talked so much. She heard Christopher and his… friends talk a bunch before too, but she wasn’t allowed to- Sam and Dean just didn’t understand. Sam turned back and she flinched again when he picked up her shirt. It pulled on the gash and she clamped her teeth. He cut the top of the sleeve so that it was out of the way then picked up the bottle. “Sorry, but this is gonna hurt.” He said and gave her a small sympathetic smile. He popped the lid off and wavered before pouring some onto the wound. He was right, it did hurt, _a ton_. She flinched and snapped her eyes shut, her face contorting into a pained expression. He stopped and when she relaxed and opened her eyes again he was watching her with a confused expression. He shook it off and shifted in place and reached up. “This is gonna hurt too.” He warned. He was telling the truth again and she flinched as he made a stitch. She kept silent, but snapped her eyes shut and scrunched up her face again, burrowing it against her good shoulder. She flinched with each tug and felt unwanted tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. “Two more.” He said and she focused on his voice rather than the pain on her shoulder. Once again he told the truth, which was odd because Christopher lied often, and when he stopped and pressed a bandage to her shoulder she relaxed and tipped her head back.

“You’re tough.” Dean commented and she opened her eyes to watch him- she’d forgotten about him. Odd- neither of them had done anything to hurt her; not intentionally at least, and had only helped. It was sadly unsettling. “Why don’t you talk?” He asked and shook his head with a baffled expression. She only stared- there was no way she was going to set herself up for getting in trouble or hurt. He looked around with an annoyed frown, “You could at least nod your head or something.” He snapped and crossed his arms on top of the table. Feeling the tension in the air rise her eyes widened and she turned her head away to stare at the ground.

Sam moved his hand and wrapped her shoulder in gauze the best he could with her shirt still rather in the way, then stood up. She glanced at her shoulder- it already felt a bit better. Suddenly she was in a situation she hadn’t been put in yet- she wanted to thank him, but she wasn’t allowed. She’d never once had the urge to thank any of her previous captors, therefore she’d never had to face such a conflict. He’d helped her even though he didn’t have any reason to do so- shouldn’t she do something? After a few seconds she felt her heart flutter as she took a chance and gave him a small smile. He seemed taken aback a bit then beamed back and turned to the table to glance at Dean. When he looked back at her she had already gone back to a straight face with wide eyes- was he going to hit her? Instead he surprised her with an unexpected offer,

“Are you hungry at all? I can go out and get food.” That was the first time in years that someone had actually asked her if she was hungry, much less offered to go out and get food specifically for her. They’d always just brought her food once or twice a day- she honestly had no idea how to respond. She couldn’t tell them, but she _was_ hungry, she hadn’t eaten yet today because it seemed they had forgotten today- that happened every so often. But communication was extremely discouraged. Once again they both seemed agitated and confused by her lack of response until Dean tapped his fingers on the table’s smooth surface.

“I’ll just go get something anyways.” He announced and got up, flashing a smile at Alex before shrugging his coat on and slipping out the door.

“You could take a shower if you want, you can borrow clothes from one of us- it might be too big though.” Sam stated, returning her attention to him. A shower would actually be nice, because it had been a few days and being clean sounded wonderful. She slowly got to her feet and watched him. He perked up and smiled lightly before shuffling to his bag by the door. Was he really going to let her wear some of his clothes? But they were his- that would have never happened before. Devin had given her these clothes not too long ago, and she had two other shirts and pants back where she had been, but she was currently wearing the cleanest set. Though now the sleeve was cut open, which was rather unhelpful. They were being so kind to her even though they didn’t have to- it was weird; unfamiliar.

He stood up and brought over a flannel shirt and held it out to her. She timidly took it and stared at it while he spoke. “I honestly have no pants of any sort that would fit you at all, but you can wear this shirt and your shorts and tomorrow I’ll go out and get you some new clothes if it seems safe.” She blinked and looked from the shirt to him and back- they were going to buy her clothes? Did that meant they were expecting to keep her long enough that she would need new clothes? But she remembered they had said they would bring her where she wanted to go. That was a dead-end, though, because she didn’t have a home to go to- her parents and probably her brother were dead, so she didn’t really have anywhere to go.

She shoved the thought away and waited until he motioned toward the bathroom with a curious smile. He must find her silence odd- maybe they really did have different rules that Christopher. Still, if Christopher found out she was talking he’d hurt her for sure. She walked over and turned to glance at him when she stopped by the door. Wait, he wasn’t going to stand guard or anything? Before the shower never had a door or curtain or anything, and whoever had brought her there would just sit and wait against the wall. But it seemed like he wasn’t going to do that. Shaken by how much everything she had known for years was changing, she went inside but left the door cracked half open, just in case. She was once again surprised that the shower had a curtain around it- an unexpected luxury. She smiled to herself and glanced at the door before getting undressed, careful to avoid messing with her multiple injuries any more, even though she brushed the burns and grimaced.

She took a risk and decided she’d take a long shower, and after about ten minutes she discovered she could hear them talking, though muffled, despite the running water.

“What’s wrong with her, ‘this some sort of PTSD?” Dean asked and she heard him shut the door and set some bags on the table, “And what’s with the door?”

“I don’t really know, she just left it open. As for the talking, I’m not really sure. I mean, she could just be freaked out- we’ve all been there with demons; we don’t even know how long she was there or anything else about her.”

“Don’t even know her name.” Dean added. “Think she even _can_ talk?”

“I would assume she can, either that or she doesn’t speak English.”

“Did you see her though, earlier? Not a peep while you stitched her up.” Sam scoffed at Dean’s comment. “Well, what are we going to do with her?”

“I’m sure she’ll start talking soon, and we’ll bring her wherever, back to her family or something. We really gotta get back and get the rest of those demons though,” He huffed and she heard his chair scrape on the floor as he stood up, “They’re not gonna just let her go.” They quieted down and she figured she had scrubbed the majority of the grime form her body. She felt considerably better now that she was clean.

After she got out, dried off, and rung her hair out she hovered her fingers over the shirt’s worn fabric. Their kindness was foreign; wearing one of their shirts felt almost like a crime, but it was her only option and Sam had seemed happy when she accepted it. Shoving down her bristly nerves she slipped it on- and it was definitely too long, but that’s all right. She put her shorts back on but the shirt covered them anyways. It was extremely quiet on the other side of the door, so she peered through the half-open space timidly. She was surprised they had left her alone, even though she would have nowhere to escape to had she chosen to make a break for it.

Sam’s back was to her at the table, and Dean was laying on one of the beds with his hands linked and resting on his chest. She glanced down at her legs- the red cut was still a little puffy and stung, but it was bearable and looked less grotesque now that the blood had been washed off and it had stopped bleeding for the most part. She didn’t quite want to hide in the bathroom in case anyone of them needed to use it, so she carefully slipped through the door. She had tried desperately to remain unnoticed, but as soon as she entered the room Dean perked up and sat forward.

“Oh wow, you look so tiny in Sam’s shirt.” He laughed and scoffed. Sam turned around and scoffed as well, closing his laptop to turn in his seat to watch her carefully. She glanced down at herself- she did look rather small. She probably wasn’t even a healthy weight, and was small to begin with- it was like when she wore her older brother’s shirts before she was plucked from her former life.

“Feeling any better?” Sam asked and smiled lightly. Alex stiffened and quickly tipped her chin down to look at the floor. They didn’t understand, she wasn’t allowed to talk- she would get in trouble, and not just a slap on the wrist and a scolding. His face fell a little when she didn’t respond and he nodded his head. “Dean brought food.” He quipped and Dean got up with a nod.

“Burgers, fries, chicken- get some meat on your bones.” He said with a grin and moved to the table, then motioned at the food when she didn’t even budge.

Wait, were they asking her to eat at the table with them? She was going to get whiplash with all these sudden changes of how she was treated. She very warily scooted to the table, dragging a chair a few feet away from it and sitting down quietly on it with her eyes on the floor and her hands folded on her lap. A sigh pulled her eyes up to glance at them.

“You don’t have to be scared, no one’s going to hurt you anymore. You’re safe here.” Dean said softly and grabbed a burger, then held it out to her. She looked back with wide eyes and kept eye contact while gingerly taking it from him. It’s not as if she hadn’t heard those same words many other times, but these guys sounded so assuring, and they hadn’t even hurt her yet. Then again Devin was first introduced as a friend, which obviously was a lie that didn’t last long. It was hard to have hope when she’d given that up so long ago. Fake promises- weak bridges, ropes held only by a strand. Each time she’d trusted in the past it always brought her pain, therefore it seemed only a matter of time before things went downhill at this point.


	3. Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a semi-expected attempt to recapture Alex, they pack up and head down to the bunker to keep her in a safe place. The boys have begun to get slightly uncomfortable and concerned about her lack of communication, but for her it's better safe than sorry.

After eating, Alex stayed in the chair calmly for over an hour while the boys shuffled around her awkwardly. She had no idea what to do with herself, and they weren’t telling her to do anything like she was used to- so she reverted to her back-up strategy; wait. At some point there will be a command, and she would obey. Everything felt unreal, as if it all was made of glass, because nothing was as it used to be. She wasn’t in her room, or even in the same town as where she’d been kept for half her life. She wasn’t in her own clothes, she was bandaged and smiled at and no one had hurt her. They tried a few times to get her to talk, but there was no way she was going to do that, not until she was completely sure she wasn’t going to get punished. And honestly, she wasn’t even sure if she would last the night there before being taken back into her personal hell-hole with Christopher.

 At the moment, she sat with her knees pulled to her chest on the couch and stared down her scarred knees as she listened into the fervent whispering from behind her.

“Well it’s not like I’m going to just pick her up and move her.” Dean hissed. They had finally gotten uncomfortable with her sitting in the middle of the room on the chair, and had offered for her to hang out on the couch. She took that as command to do so- it felt more normal to be told what to do, she’d never really had choices since she was twelve. Now they were arguing because they insisted she slept on the bed.

“She’s beaten and scared to death, we can’t just leave her to sleep on the couch.” Sam mumbled and she could even hear him rub his hands on his face in frustration. But why would they want her to sleep on the bed? For years she had a practically ancient mattress on the ground, and that was good enough- the couch was infinitely better than that. It wasn’t right, she wasn’t allowed to sleep on the bed; the beds were for them. It’s their room, they’re in charge. They should have the privileges- she was still shocked they’d gotten food specifically for her.

“Well we can’t do anything if she won’t move.”                                 

She shifted in her place to peer nervously over the top edge of the couch, wanting to keep an eye on the situation. In most cases it was better to see your threat, though she couldn’t deny having situations where she’d rather _not_ have seen the threat. Despite their arguing Sam still managed to notice her and snapped his mouth shut then sighed.

“Look, we’re not going to make you sleep on a bed, but you really should, if anyone’s earned it, it’s you.” She tightened her jaw and fought to not drop her eyes. These brothers were weird, and very, _very_ different from Christopher and his followers. “You’ve got some pretty nasty cuts, I don’t want sleeping on the couch to have a chance of pulling your stitches.” She stopped for a second at his words- she’d been worse than this, way worse, but she also didn’t want more stitches. At the same time as she dropped her eyes in thought, there was a noise at the door that caused her to flinch more than she expected. It seemed someone was actually messing with the handle, testing it or trying to unlock it.

Because she was facing fully exposed in the sight of the door, she stood up quietly and shuffled to the side a bit. Dean had the same idea and moved to her side, pulling her gently by her elbow and nodding toward the bathroom. She obeyed and slipped inside, leaning around the corner to watch everything unfold. Of course there was a high possibility that it was just a maid or someone with the wrong room, but at the same time it was better safe than sorry. Sam moved to the door and when he went to open it, she noticed he was holding a gun against the door. He turned the handle and pulled it open just enough to barely see the man standing in the doorway.

“Can I help you?” Sam said instantly with a cold tone. The man had jumped back in surprise and looked around and cursed from start.

“What are you doing in here?” The man stammered and stared down at the key in his hands, then back to Sam, peering through the doorway with confusion clouding his face. She could see Sam roll his shoulders before he reiterated himself,

“What do you need?”                

“I- I’m sorry, I think they gave me the wrong room number.” He said and held it out, looking over Sam who obviously towered over him. Sam shifted in place, but seemed to relax a bit.

“Sorry, but this room is taken, you’re going to have to go and get a different one.” The man nodded his head quickly and raised his hand in a half-polite, half-scared motion before Sam closed the door. The situation seemed to defuse at the same time as Sam reengaged the lock. Dean nodded his head at Alex and she padded back out. Though before she could move back to the couch, Sam slipped- rather gracefully for his tall stature- to stand between her and the couch. “Really, sleep on the bed, please. In the morning Dean and I are going to go out and get the last of the demons, and once it’s safe we’ll bring you wherever you want.” He had an intense pleading-look to his eyes, and Alex blinked a few times. With him obviously blocking the couch, she glanced at Sam then Dean before walking very timidly to the bed, sitting on the end carefully. Sam relaxed and smiled at her, running his hand through his hair as he moved and leaned against the couch.

“You know, we still don’t know your name.” Dean quipped and gave her a sly smile when she turned to look at him. Her face fell and she stared back down at her hands on her lap. He sighed and seemed to give up as he sat on his own bed. Sam moved to the table and began moving some papers around. She was going to sleep on a bed- _a real bed_. It had been a long time since that had happened- so long that it actually felt sort of odd, as if the bed was trying to gobble her up when she scooted backwards to sit could sit cross-legged in the middle. It was nice, but she knew she wasn’t going to get much sleep, not while hiding for her life with two strange men and after probably infuriating Christopher, who would do anything to get his hands on her _and_ her blood on his hands. After a little while of watching Sam poke around with the papers and laptop, she noticed his movements getting more sluggish- he was tired. Dean was as well, for he was laying with his eyes closed on his bed. She wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not though because he seemed to have an air of awareness to him still.

When Sam finally started rubbing his eyes he gave up, turning to face Alex with a light smile.

“I’m going to turn in. You should try and get some sleep. I’ll get salt up and make this place totally safe. You need the rest.” He waited for a reply, but turned when she only stared at him. He had an odd look on his face- he probably thought she was weird, if not creepy for her silence. It did add an odd air to her life, but for her that feeling was just because she knew it came from being tortured if she spoke. She didn’t mind not communicating, not now that she had been forced to do so for half her life. She was pretty sure it was some form of Christopher finding a new way to make her feel like the bottom of the food chain even more so. She caught on quick when he first introduced it, though shouting out in pain took a while to get control of.

When Sam started pouring salt on the floor, she furrowed her eyebrows. Salt? What- why? Who were these men? She was baffled. Of all things- why salt? That’s one the least protective things she could think of, alongside with feathers and pillows. Couldn’t a demon just… step over it? She left him to his crazy and stretched out her legs on the bed. Being on a bed was weird, but it _was_ very comfortable.

\--------------             

 _Click._ There was a noise from the other side of the room. Alex looked around- both Sam and Dean had gone to sleep a long time ago- hours, if her internal clock was working all right. There it was again- a quiet but sharp click. At first she thought it was the sink, but a lower noise confirmed it was the door, and panic marched into her body. She slid her legs off the side of the bed, wanting her feet on the ground so she could run if need-be. Was it that weird man again? She watched with wide eyes as the salt very subtly blew from the door as if a draft had slipped underneath. Instantly the door slammed open and she stumbled backwards- nope, not the man. Sam and Dean were both suddenly on their feet, and past their figures she could see Devin’s face encased in moonlight. He moved forward and shoved into Dean, knocking him back a few feet at the same time as Sam grabbed ahold of the demon’s arm. Devin’s arm was jerked behind his back and he growled, grabbing Sam’s shirt with his free hand and pulling him hard enough for her to hear the fabric tear. She scampered to the other side of the bed and dropped to the ground with her knees to her chest to keep herself out of view. She could hear them fighting and attempted to narrate the fight by listening to the sounds of shouts, thumps, and crashes. After a few minutes there was only labored breathing, then Dean’s voice.

“Kid?” He snapped with a nervous and out-of-breath voice. She quickly stood up with wide eyes and her arms hugging herself, and both brothers relaxed at seeing her. Her eyes followed their moonlit silhouettes down to the still body of Devin on the floor, blood on his chest and neck. Sam moved and flicked on the light, temporarily blinding them all for a second. She averted her eyes, not wanting to look at the demon’s corpse, then turned her whole self around. They’d already found her- and if Devin knew where she was, then Christopher definitely did- she knew it had only been a matter of time. She stopped the air in her lungs and tried to calm herself, though flinched at Sam’s voice.

“Alright, it’s okay. Are you okay?” He asked, and she sucked in a breath and turned to face them once more. He looked her over and decided she was okay before continuing. “Okay, that’s good. Um,” he stammered, looking around for a second before Dean jumped in.

“Look, we have a place a few hours from here, it’s the safest place we know of.” Her head tilted the slightest bit to the side with interest- these guys seemed to know a lot about demons, considering they just killed one while she didn’t even know that was possible, so them saying somewhere is safe made her believe them. He seemed thrilled with her- though very subtle- response and glanced at Sam before continuing, “We’ll go there, hunker down, and lock you up nice and safe with a friend of ours while Sam and I go and gank the rest of these slimes.” To be honest, it really did sound like a good idea- up until the “locking her up” part. Her mind trailed- maybe it wasn’t going to be as different from with Christopher. But she stopped herself- the reason they would be ‘locking’ her up isn’t the same- they were technically locking the demons _out_ , if she understood correctly. She rubbed her eyes lightly and fought back a yawn. All she could really do was go with whatever they said, so with her best interests in mind she took a few steps forward to stand obediently by the table. They correctly understood her actions as an ‘okay’ and began shoving their objects back into their bags. Within ten minutes they cleared every trace of themselves, called 911 anonymously to alert them of the body, and piled into the car to get out before anyone arrived. This time Sam and Dean both sat in the front while Alex sat with her knees nervously pulled to her chest in the back. Her shoulder and thighs had begun to hurt again now that the sleepiness of nighttime was pushed from her head by the first rays of dawn, and she tested her shoulder with her free hand. She flinched- not a good idea- and scrunched up her nose in reaction to the pain. She caught Sam watching her with sad yet curious eyes and quickly broke eye contact.

“We won’t force you to come with us. We can bring to a hospital, get your injuries professionally check out.” He offered quietly. She locked eyes with him again as her own widened. He seemed sad that fear entered her eyes, but also glad to have any form of response at all from her and gave her a light smile. “That’s alright. Look, it’s gonna be about an 8 hour drive, so we’ll stop for food or anything you need along the way.” By this point she felt he was simply trying to reassure her, which made sense considering a demon just tried to kill them all. Though it wasn’t as if it hadn’t happened to her before. He nodded and turned back to Dean, who glanced at him silently.

It was a long, _long_ car ride. Uneventful, dull, confining, and simply _long_. Alex hadn’t really been in a car for quite some time, and now she remembered why she hated them so much. Sitting for a long time in silence wasn’t hard, but the movements made her sick, and she was already incredibly high-strung with nerves. Sam and Dean talked off and on, about a lot of crazy things that didn’t make sense, even angels a few times, but she mostly slipped into her thoughts and tried to keep up with all the crazy and sudden changes completely turning the life she knew inside out. Although, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing, considering her previous life wasn’t really even one worth living.

It seemed like it had been forever when Sam and Dean perked up as they slowed down onto a gravel road where a concrete and heavy metal door lead down a few steps and into the Cliffside. The roof and upper floor of the building peeked up behind it, but it seemed like the place was underground as well. She scooted to the closer window and looked it over with curious eyes. The place practically screamed impenetrable with its thick structure and heavy metal reinforcements- it looked like a zombie-apocalypse shelter she saw in a movie with her brother when she was ten and he was 14. Her mind strayed a bit, as it always did when her brother came to mind. She hadn’t seen him since they took her- she didn’t even know if he was alive, since her parents both weren’t. But she still clung to that hope that maybe he somehow made it out alive. Maybe he’d even looked for her- though she could sadly say she was glad he didn’t find her, because Christopher would have ripped him to shreds.

She snapped back to attention as the car stopped, and got out once Sam and Dean both did so. They stretched and both glanced at her before slinging a bag on their shoulders. She followed behind Sam and in front of Dean as they plodded down to the door and unlocked and swung it open loudly on its thick hinges.


	4. Digging Deeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Alex still obviously terrified and acting oddly, Castiel is called in to try and figure somethings out- and he learns a bit more than he or Alex expects.

“I don’t know man, I think she’s mute.” Dean’s voice echoed from the kitchen.

“If she couldn’t talk though, you’d think she would know sign language, or would write when we asked. I think she’s just really scared, Dean.”

Alex was curled up on the ground against the side of a bookshelf, tucked very well out of sight. The last few days had been a trial of everyone's nerves.

As soon as they arrived, Sam convinced her to let him re-wrap her shoulder because it had been visibly hurting her, then they separated to dink around the bunker. Though being in a huge and completely unfamiliar place frightened her, therefore she sat on the ground near the bottom of the stairs. She had no idea where she was allowed or not because it was huge- she was used to being locked into a small room, and that was where she was allowed to be. After about an hour of her curled up at the bottom of the stairs Sam and Dean insisted she could go anywhere she wanted. Though that sort of came with an adverse effect to what they expected- she hid. Scared, confused, and overwhelmed, she tucked herself away in the first small and hidden-from-sight place she could find- which ended up being a small janitor’s closet. She just needed time to think, to adjust and figure out what all was going on and how to adapt to all of these new changes. Sam and Dean nearly had a heart attack after searching for hours before finding her.

The next few days ended up being pretty similar. She took to finding small places she could curl up, such as in the corner of the library or another closet. The first few times the brothers panicked, but after a while they seemed to get used to it.

Eventually, very slowly, she began to try and force herself to stop hiding. She was initially hiding because she believed that if they couldn’t find her, she wouldn’t be hurt. But no one had hurt her, or even gotten mad; they were both very incredibly kind. She didn’t have the courage to ask for food nor get it herself, therefore after two days they realized she wasn’t eating and began bringing her food whenever they knew where she was. At the five-day mark she decided maybe things were going to be different, that maybe she wasn’t going to get in trouble for being seen. Therefore when Sam and Dean found her simply sitting at the kitchen table that morning they were incredibly excited.

“Hey,” Sam said when he walked in with a beaming grin across his face, “Look at you.” He motioned toward her and chuckled, moving to the counter to begin brewing some coffee. At first Alex panicked a bit, fearing he might not want her in there, but his smile attempted to convince her otherwise. Dean walked in a few seconds later and practically did a double take. He clapped her shoulder when he walked by and she nearly had a heart attack, but forced herself to stay in her chair. She thought he was going to hit her, but he didn’t- maybe things _were_ going to be different.

Sam groaned and she craned her neck over her shoulder to watch him. He turned a jar upside down and crinkled his nose with an annoyed expression. He glanced at the table and motioned toward it, turning back around as he spoke. “Can you write coffee down?” Alex looked forward, noticing the piece of scrap paper and pen on the table. With a slightly shaky hand she silently wrote the word down. Her handwriting was terrible considering she hadn’t written in years, and she was pretty sure she spelt it wrong. She set the pen down and glanced up as Sam turned around. He moved to leave the kitchen but paused and did a double take of the paper and scoffed, picking it up, “Dude, you spelt coffee wrong, there’s two ‘F’s.” He held the paper up at Dean, and Alex shifted in her spot. She had thought he was talking to her, but he must have asked Dean to do it. Now Dean turned to face Sam, since he had been looking in the fridge, with a confused expression.

“What?” He asked with a blank face that portrayed he hadn’t even heard Sam the first time. Sam seemed to slow down as his mind spun, then turned to face Alex- who practically melted under his gaze. She spelt it wrong, and her handwriting looked like she’d used her foot. His eyebrows raised and he walked back to the table with a confused grin and set it on the table.

“You wrote this?” He asked with a beaming grin. She sunk down a little in her seat and dropped her wide eyes to stare at the table. “No, no; it’s good, that was good.” He stammered and sat down across from her. He picked up the pen, flipped the paper over, and pushed it toward her quietly. “Can you tell us your name?” Her breath stopped in her throat- but that would be communicating. Asking her to write down something on a list was a demand, but writing her name was talking to them on the paper. She glanced up at him with fearful eyes and his smile faltered a bit. “That’s okay,” He said after a few seconds, “Just keep those, and write whatever you want, if you feel like it.” He stood up and smiled at her once more before glancing at Dean meaningfully, and she knew they were going to talk about what had happened. Dean jerked his head to the side and Sam obeyed, walking toward him to the doorway.

They slipped around the corner and Alex instantly got to her feet, leaving the paper and pen on the table, but found herself staring at them anyways. She didn’t get in trouble, and he had said she could have them- after so many years, it would be an exciting change to be able to write things down, anything at all would do. She bit her lip and glanced at the exit before picking them both up and pressing them to her chest.

She heard them talking quietly, their words too muffled by the distance for her to understand, but she turned to stare toward the sound as she could have _sworn_ she heard a new voice. She hadn’t heard anyone enter through the door though, and for the days she had been there, only Sam and Dean had been there. Her eyebrows furrowed and she shifted from foot to foot nervously before tiptoeing to the doorway and leaning around the corner. Her suspicions were confirmed, for Sam, Dean, and a third man were standing in the doorway to the library. The man had a long tan coat on and had black hair, but he was facing away from her so his face was not visible.

“But she if she is not injured, I do not comprehend why you call for my assistance.” The new voice said.

“Well, we patched her up, but something’s not right with her.” Dean said quietly and crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorframe.

“Look, we just need to know if she’s okay, but she won’t talk, nod her head, nothing,” Sam explained with a tired voice, “We can’t just drop her off at a hospital or anything because the demons are still out there.” Everyone was silent for a few seconds, and Alex moved back into the kitchen to be out of sight but still in earshot.

“Can’t you just, do your mojo and check if she’s hurt or something? Or get something about the demons? She’s the only one who knows anything about them, and we’ve got zip.” Dean added. A few seconds passed and she was getting edgy until the new man spoke up once more. Mojo? She’d never heard that word before.

“I can try.”

“Thanks, man. Just- don’t scared her, she’s already scared enough.” Sam added. Feeling they were going to come back into the kitchen she bit her lip and sat back down- eavesdropping was something that she could get in trouble for; at least from Christopher. She kept the pen and paper resting on her lap though, not wanting to risk losing them for any reason. She had stopped talking to herself in the night since she was with Sam and Dean because she was too frightened, so writing was going to have to substitute that.

She jerked her eyes up from the wood grains of the table as the group of three returned. Dean had a calm expression, Sam was smiling comfortingly, and the new man had a curious gaze.

“So, this is our friend Castiel. We thought maybe he could help you.” Sam said calmly and gave her a smile. Castiel- that’s an odd name. Castiel stood watching her for a few seconds before Dean shifted awkwardly behind him, seemingly signaling Castiel to start talking. He stepped forward and sat down across from her at the table. He had very blue eyes, she noticed, while Dean had green and Sam had hazel- because she never spoke she had naturally taken to expressing things with her eyes, therefore seemed to notice the eyes of those around her.

“My name is Castiel. I am an angel.” He said, giving it to her bluntly. She blinked- was he serious? She glanced at Sam, who nodded his head, watching her intently. She turned back to Castiel to watch him warily. She’d read things in the bible and heard things about angels at church before she was taken, but to actually meet one? What _was_ all this; demons, angels? How did those go from being stories to things actually walking the Earth? What else was real? “What is your name?” He asked, drawing her attention back toward him. Her eyes widened- not this again. She wasn’t allowed to talk- their rules might be different, but with Christopher out there the rules were still the same for her. Communication was a privilege that she hadn’t been allowed for years.

Castiel made a quiet yet saddened sigh and glanced at Dean. Uh oh, had she done something wrong? She felt her muscles tense in preparation, but she had no idea what could happen because everything was so different than before. As soon as her nerves flared, Castiel turned back to face her with furrowed eyebrows. Slowly his expression slipped into sad gaze and he pursed his lips. “She is very frightened.” He announced. Was she really being that obvious?

“Look, kid,” Dean said and sat down in the chair next to Castiel, “Cas can help you out, and you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” He explained quietly. It was odd for her to see all three of these men acting so placid and comforting- quite the opposite of what she was used to. But, how would Castiel be able to help her- help her with what? At least she wouldn’t have to talk, but the offer still felt a little… off. After a few seconds of her simply watching him, Dean nodded and glanced at Sam. “We’re just gonna try, okay? He’s not going to hurt you, and you do something- I don’t care what- if you want him to stop, alright?” If that was what they wanted, then she wasn’t going to disobey. Neither of them had hurt her even once, so maybe they were telling the truth about Castiel-the-angel as well. Though of course a cloud of doubt and distrust curled around her brain and heart, she still let out her breath and turned to watch Castiel. He nodded and stood up, tucking one hand calmly into his pocket and stepped quietly around the table to stand at her side.

Though she had tried to cling to the glimmer of trust, she instantly let go and leaned away from him instinctively. He patiently waited in place for a few seconds before timidly showing her his hand. At first she was confused, but that was overruled with controlled panic as he lifted it toward her forehead. Alex snapped her eyes shut and stiffened, waiting for the blow- but it didn’t come. Instead his fingers pressed gently against her forehead and she felt an odd warmth there. As soon as her body registered the warmth something felt very uncomfortable with her head- more specifically, her mind. Some of her memories and thoughts randomly pulled up into her train of thought even though she hadn’t summoned them, and she felt… exposed. The scenes that popped up in her head were a few flashes of Sam and Dean finding her, a blink of Christopher hurting her, and more- but they were going way faster than normal. As soon as the sounds of the memories registered, including some of her thoughts and Christopher’s voice, she ducked down and clapped her hands over her ears- and everything stopped. She pried her eyes open, wide with shock, and looked around with slightly labored breathing.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, that’s normal.” Sam said quickly and shuffled in place. He looked as if he wanted to go toward her, but was held back by some thought in his head. She looked to Castiel, who had an intense look of confusion and pity, then to Dean. Dean had a sad look to a degree she hadn’t seen on him yet, which surprised her lightly. She dropped her hands to wrap them around her stomach- she sort of felt like she might vomit. She stayed put out of dread, though. What had just happened? Did Castiel do that? She locked her eyes on him strictly. Why did those memories jump into her mind out of nowhere? Sam said that it was ‘normal’, was he talking about that?

“I apologize. I did not mean to frighten you.” Castiel said calmly, then turned to look at Dean.

“I did not get much about the demons, but I do not believe she will allow me to try again.” What was Castiel talking about? What had he just _done_ to her? Dean nodded,

“No, leave her be for a little.” He replied, watching her out of the corner of his eye as if that would make her less nervous. Castiel glanced at Alex again before turned his head over his shoulder toward Sam,

“As for your question, Sam, she _is_ physically able to speak,” Her breath snagged in her throat as questions began to sting her mind- why did he say that? Were they assuming she was unable? How was he able to confirm that now? Because he touched her head? A chill crawled down her spine- had _he_ seen what she saw? Was that even possible? “But, it seems that she believ-” He started explaining, but she stood up from her chair quickly and he snapped his mouth shut to watch her. No, no- had he _read her mind_? That probably could be considered as communication by Christopher, especially if he speaks aloud her thoughts to Sam and Dean- that’s the same as talking. How much had he seen? What did he know now? Sam stepped forward with his hands raised and locked eyes with her.

“Whoa, it’s okay,” He stammered and glanced at Castiel. But it wasn’t okay; she obviously could not allow Castiel to talk about the things he’d seen. She was definitely not allowed to talk about Christopher or what he’d done, nor her own thoughts. Thus when Castiel started again, he only got the word,

“She-” out before her hands flew up to her head with a terrified and pleading expression carved onto her features and he stopped again.

“Cas, wait.” Sam murmured, and she felt exposed under all of the analyzing stares of those around her. She felt a boney finger of guilt trying to worm its way into her head, caused by years of fearing she’d done something wrong. Had she reacted wrong? Were there going to be consequences? Finding herself in the unfamiliar situation of being able to escape potentially impending harm, she backed up a few steps. She knew Castiel was going to have to tell them the twisted things he’d seen in her head, but that didn’t mean she had to be there for the great unveiling. Careful to still quiet her footsteps, she spun on her heels and swerved out of sight and around the corner. She needed a safe place, and the nearest happened to be the room they had repeatedly told her was solely hers.

“Sam. Let her go.” She heard Dean say with a gruff voice as she slipped into the room and closed the door behind her, leaning her forehead against the wood as she tried to collect herself. After a few seconds of silence from the other side of the door, she dared to turn around and skim her eyes over the room. It was bigger than her room in the warehouse, and it had an actual bed and dresser, a simple clock on a shelf, a lamp- this was all hers? She used to have things like that when she was still with her parents, but she barely even remembered what the house had looked like.

She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about Christopher or what he did, but now they were going to know- Christopher was going to be furious, and furious meant heat. At that thought she moved silently across the room to the closed door, revealing a small bathroom. Not even bothering to revel in the idea that she might have her own bathroom, she padded across the cold tiles to the sink and turned it on. The noise of the running water made her nervously look back to the door of her room, but after no signs of being heard she stuck her hands in the water. The cold liquid rolling around her hands managed to calm her down a surprising amount, and she stood with the water soaking her arms up to her elbows, turning her hands over and over to watch the water.

“I like the cold.” She murmured and rested her elbows on the sink’s edge to watch the water flow and bend around and through her fingers.

\----------------

<Sam’s POV>

            “Sam. Let her go.” Sam heard Dean snap as he moved to try and stop her. They hadn’t meant to scare her, but it wasn’t as if he hadn’t already suspected something along these lines would happen. He clenched his jaw and stopped in place as she slipped out of the kitchen. Her, she- he didn’t even know her name yet. He closed his eyes for a few seconds then sighed, opening them and turning around since he heard a door shut quietly somewhere else in the bunker. He ran his hand through his hair and leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Wonderful.” Dean murmured sarcastically, and Sam didn’t even bother to grant him an annoyed glare. He did perk up though when Castiel cleared his throat.

“That did not seem to go very smoothly.” The angel stated and looked at Sam, who scoffed.

“Yeah, no.” He sighed, “You said you didn’t get much about the demons, but did you get anything at all?” Castiel nodded sharply,

“Yes. The demon who seemed to interact most with her was named Christopher- at least, that was what she referred to him by. I would hazard to assume he was a leader of sorts.”

“You see what he looked like?” Dean asked, standing up from the table with his arms crossed stiffly across his chest. Sam looked over his brother- Dean didn’t seem to be too happy with how this went either.

“A little,” Castiel responded, and Sam nodded before replying,

“That’s good.” There was a silence for a few seconds before he figured he should probably bring up the question edging at everyone’s mind. “Do you know anything about her not talking?”

“Yeah, what’s the silent treatment all about?” Dean inserted his own comment. Castiel’s face contorted into a look of confusion mixed with concentration.

“I was not able to get much before she shut me out, but she seems to connect forms of communication with being injured.” Sam’s eyebrows raised, the furrowed.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked lowly with suspicion bleeding into his voice.

“In the few memories I was able to retrieve from her, all of them contained her being… injured by the demon.” Castiel’s eyes clouded a little as he seemed to slip into his thoughts. As Sam’s mind crawled to the realization then images of her being hurt by the demons, a surge of disgust and anger toward them flooded him. Dean reacted the same, only visibly, for he shoved the chair away and stalked out of the room down the back hallway.

“What should we do now?” Castiel asked, bringing Sam down a bit from the anger that was threatening to root itself in his chest. He blew out a frustrated breath and shook his head.

“If she’s able to talk, then maybe she’ll talk in her own time.” Castiel nodded then stared ahead in thought. “Did you get her name, or anything about her? Is she hurt?” He added.

“The main injuries I sensed on her were those that you had already tended to.” The angel replied softly.

“The main ones?” Sam questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

“She has many older injuries of varying ages and severities, but those are mostly healed and should not be a bother to her daily actions.” The hot anger returned and finally clamped itself down in his chest, and Sam quickly turned on his heels to go and get a breath of fresh air.

After everyone calmed down and attempted to digest the new information, the three of them grouped back together to work on researching to hunt down the demons to show them a new level of hell they had yet to see. Time slipped away and their worries grew as the rest of the day slipped away without a sight of her. Dean had gone to her door a few times to try and coax her out, but there was no reply. Castiel was luckily there to calm Sam’s nerves a bit by assuring them she was fine, but the most he could tell from her was that she was scared.

By five in the evening the next day, Castiel reappeared near Sam in the library, nearly giving him a heart attack. He jumped and slapped his hand on his chest before sighing,

“What’s up?” He shoved his laptop a few inches away from him- they had all been researching since the first light of morning, and was particularly interested in what Castiel may have found.

“She has fallen asleep.” Sam sighed as relief cooled his nerves. She had been sitting awake in her room for so long that it was bringing knowing chills up Sam’s spine. He of all people knew about sleep deprivation. Castiel shifted a bit in place and Sam gave him a questioning gaze- he seemed to have something else on his mind. “I believe in order to help with her psychological fear of talking, we will need to know the reasons behind it,” He paused and Sam nodded his head.

“Yeah, I guess that would help.” He replied hesitantly.

“I am able to enter her mind while she is sleeping, and should be able to get some more information." A bad feeling crept into Sam’s mind at the idea. That seemed more than slightly invasive. But then again, she had locked the door and hadn’t eaten or drank anything for two days, and they were going to have to do something. They could send Cas in to get a better idea of how to help her, or they could pick her lock. But picking her lock wouldn’t guarantee they could get her to eat, much less talk or calm down.

“Go ahead.” Dean said quietly from the doorway, where Sam hadn’t even noticed he had entered.

“Dean, that sounds invasive-” Sam started, and stopped as Dean interrupted.

“She won’t get better if we let her stay in there. We can’t send her anywhere, so the only help she’s going to get is ours until we kill those demons. We can’t all sit around twiddling our thumbs.” Sam sighed, rubbed his face then nodded at Castiel.


	5. The Fighting Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The action increases as Sam and Dean located a demon and decide to head out for him, but discover a hidden surprise along the way.

Alex blinked- she was aware she was dreaming; an extremely rare happening. That had only ever happened a few times, and not once since she had been kidnapped so long ago. Her dreams were normally her reliving events from her last years, or being cut up and burned by Christopher. She thought that after a while she would become numb to the terrifying nightmares, but up to this date they still scared the dickens out of her. But now, she was aware. Slowly a scene come to sight- a familiar memory of getting the crap beaten out of her. She grimace and looked away, then stopped. _She looked away._ She wasn’t the one being hurt- at least not the perspective she was seeing. She was watching a clone of herself, rather than seeing it through a first-person view of the events. That was abnormal. And horrifying. As the words reached her ears she shut her eyes, leaving a blackness for her vision so that the sounds were all that let her know she was still dreaming.

_“Get up,” Christopher’s voice._

_The sounds of chains rattling and her bare feet on the ground._

_“And how are you doing today?” He asked with a mischievousness tone in his voice._

_“I-” Her own voice started, cut off by a harsh sound of skin-on-skin contact as he slapped her._

_“New rules.” He growled._

Alex recognized what day this event was- this was the day he decided she wasn’t allowed to talk. This new form of watching herself in the dream made her feel heavy with horror.

\----------------                                 

Alex jerked up from her laying position on the floor- something touched her, she felt it, it was real- not Christopher touching her in her dream; someone touched her in real life. She had quickly learned how to instantly wake up upon someone entering her room or touching her after her long life with the demons, therefore she was already getting to her feet by the time her eyes snapped open. She had been forced to have rather good eyesight in the dark, therefore she backed up against the wall at the sight of someone in her room. She clicked on the lamp next to her and turned back to flinch at the sight of Castiel. She brought her fingers to her forehead where she had felt the contact then dropped it and continued to stare at him with wide eyes.

“I am sorry.” He said sincerely, and slowly sat down on the edge of the stripped bed. She herself had pulled the top blanket off and had slept on the ground. “I want to help.” He added, locking his blue eyes with hers. Realization poured into her mind at his words. He had seen all of that, hadn’t he? The dozens of horrible, endless scenes of her ‘personal time’ with Christopher. His words, his actions, her response. _He knew_. He knew why she didn’t talk, the consequences if she did, how she was treated, what Christopher had done. Her knees felt weak and she dropped heavily to the ground with her knees pulled to her chest. He knew so much. She flinched at the sound of him standing up, then opened her eyes- which she hadn’t realized she’d closed- to watch him slowly crouch down and sit on the ground a few feet away. “I am not going to hurt you. You are safe.” She dropped her eyes- she wasn’t safe, not until Christopher was gone. And there was no telling who would be her next Christopher. “No one will hurt you here.” He added, and she flicked her eyes back to lock with his. Maybe he was right- no one here had hurt her yet. She had been careful not to make any mistakes though.

“I believe Sam and Dean would be far better at helping you.” He said after a few minutes of silence. Alex’s eyes widened- but he telling them would practically be _her_ telling them- that wasn’t allowed. She got back to her feet despite the shaking in her knees. “I would like to tell them what I have seen, they can help you.” Feeling overwhelmed, she reacted without thinking and shook her head vigorously. In an instant her hands flew up, one covering her mouth and the other pressing against her forehead- _she shook her head._ No, no, that wasn’t allowed. Crap. She leaned heavily against the wall and closed her eyes. Castiel seemed taken aback and stumbled over his words.

“It- it’s okay.” She opened her eyes as he stepped forward, seemingly trying to try and calm her state of distress. She reacted by covering her head defensively, and flinched as he rested his hand on her forearm after a few seconds of hesitation. She braced herself for pain, but there was none- instead, a feeling of calm and sleepiness flooded into her head. Slowly she dropped her arms, looking down to where he was lightly pressing the back of his fingers to her arm. She stared in a state of stupor then blinked as her eyes felt heavy. He removed his hand and she leaned against the wall, watching him as the feeling started slowly fading. How did he do that?

“If it is alright with you, I would like to talk to Sam and Dean about the demons.” Her eyes widened and her chest tightened, washing out the calm. “I can tell aspects about yourself frighten you,” He paused to look her over, “Would you prefer if I waited to inform them of anything else?” Yes, she wanted to say. She wanted to beg him to say nothing, but she knew they needed at least the demon information, and that she also didn’t have the courage nor strength to beg, much less speak. Thus she pulled up all the strength she could muster, which wasn’t much, and lightly nodded her head. She then froze in place to watch how he would react. He simply nodded his head, then vanished faster than her eyes could catch. She dropped to a sitting position on the ground in slight shock- but it wasn’t something she had yet to see. Christopher, in times of extreme distress or importance, had vanished or appeared like that a few times before. None of the others seemed to ever do that, so she assumed it was something special that only he had- but apparently Castiel could do that was well. Angels, demons- she longed to go back to when she was a child and high schoolers were the scariest beings to her. What other monstrosities roamed in the shadows?

She waited until night came to experiment and try and get something to at least drink. She was beginning to feel weak from the lack of sustenance, and knew she would need it eventually. She unlocked the door and pushed it silently open, then peered out and looked down both ways of the hall. No one was in sight, nor were any lights on to serve as a beacon for her venture. Oh well; she could see in the dark just fine. Padding to the corner she peered around it, then slipped into the kitchen. There was a glass on the counter, and she very cautiously picked it up and filled it with water from the sink. She figured she probably shouldn’t risk getting in trouble by doing much more and moved to sit at the table in the dark with her water- which tasted and felt heavenly to her dehydrated self.

Down the hall a light clicked on. It was dull and barely crept its way into the kitchen, but she instantly got to her feet and put the glass in the sink. Maybe she should have stayed in her room. Frozen in place by the sink, she held her breath as Sam emerged from the hallways, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Had she woken him? She hoped not. He didn’t seem to notice her until he reached the doorway to the kitchen. He froze, then let out a seemingly relieved sigh.

“Hey,” He said calmly and turned the light on. They both blinked a few times to adjust, and she locked her eyes on the ground. “It’s good that you’re moving around.” She glanced up at him, taking in his soft smile and messy hair- he didn’t really look as threatening as he should have for her to react in such a fearful way. “You’re probably starving- you want some food?” He asked, then walked to the fridge and pulled it open. He glanced at her, and despite her lack of response pulled out a few things. She watched him carefully, realizing when he grabbed the bread that he was making her a sandwich- one just for her, for no apparent reason. The concept was still so new to her- that would have never happened before. Yet again she felt something tug at her mind- maybe things were going to be different. If everything was changing, shouldn’t she?

After a few seconds of internally debating with herself, Alex silently stepped forward to stand next to Sam. He glanced at her, gave her a smile, and then pointed over his shoulder. “You wanna grab a knife for me?” He asked cheerily despite that he looked tired. She bit her lip and moved to the counter and pulled out a simple knife. When she turned around, she noticed he was watching her with a proud smile on his mouth.

He ended up making them both sandwiches, and convinced her to sit at the table with him by sitting down first. She nervously picked at her food, mostly focusing on watching him curiously. They were all being so kind to her.

“So, I talked to Cas earlier, and we think we might have found a lead only a few hours away.” He announced as he paused from eating his food. Her eyebrows instinctively raised- a lead? Like, they might have found the demons? Was it Christopher? Oh God- was Christopher only a few hours away? Apparently her realizations had shown on her face, because Sam dropped his sandwich and sat up straighter. “No, it’s alright- that’s a good thing. It’s nothing big. Dean and I will leave in the morning and you’ll stay here- nothing can get in here, you’re completely safe. I promise.” He said, making a point of making eye contact. She stared at him for a few seconds- a glimmer of hope had tried to crawl into her head, and she focused on not snuffing it out immediately.

What if they managed to fix all of this- to get rid of Christopher? They seemed capable enough. She couldn’t even comprehend how much that would change things, and instead let herself visibly calm down and focused on eating more of her food. Sam calmed down as well, and they sat in silence for a little while before he recommended they both get some sleep. He waited until she retreated to her room before going to his own- she was curious and had watched him.

\----------------                  

Alex shifted in place, wriggling to try and keep herself out of sight in her compact and hidden location. In a state of panic, she made a rash decision that she was now starting to deeply regret.

By the morning her confidence had shattered. This was one simple building- what if Christopher got in? She would be completely alone in this unfamiliar place. With Sam and Dean leaving, she would have no protection. And by now, despite her constant fear, she felt safer with them around. Both being much taller than her helped, because it wasn’t as if she was all that big and strong. In fact, she was short to begin with and malnourished at the moment- Dean pointedly made comments about her needing to ‘get some meat on her bones’. Her being this size was the only thing now keeping her from being found out. In her panic, she had stupidly tucked herself away on the floor of Sam and Dean’s car in the back seat where someone’s feet would normally go. It was barely even light out, and both of them were already very tired, but she was still amazed neither of them had checked the back seat.

She hadn’t known what else to do- the idea of being alone scared her enough to push herself into this distressing situation. They had messed around at the trunk, locked the house’s doors behind them, slipped into the front seat and hit the road. She felt like she was barely able to breathe or risk being found. Luckily when she shoved herself into the small, hidden space, she had landed on her uninjured shoulder. The burns and other injuries weren’t even a bother anymore, but her shoulder was still hurting quite a bit. Sam had checked on her before she had hid herself in the car and had mentioned something about how the location and depth of the cut was making it heal slower.

She was now curled up with her knees to her chest in the feet-space, and actually wasn’t sure she could get out on her own from how squished she was. Within minutes of the car starting she realized this was an incredibly stupid idea, because she was 100% bound to be found. Therefore, her nerves only got stronger and stronger until over an hour later Dean made a rather sharp turn. A cup in the front knocked over, and she heard him curse and Sam laugh. Then Sam turned around to fish for something to clean it with.

“Holy crap!” He exclaimed, and Dean reactively hit the brakes, the car jerking from his surprise. All of Alex’s feelings were overpowered by an intense fear. She snapped her eyes shut and could feel the sting from tears from a mix of alarm and some form of regret mixed with shame. She’d been discovered. She knew it was bound to happen, but it still freaked her out. She was going to be in _so_ much trouble.

“What, what?” Dean shouted and she felt him starting to pull the car over. Sam stammered then collected himself.

“Uh, Dean, pull over. Now.” He mumbled then could be heard unbuckling and turning around in his seat to look over into the back seat. As soon as the car stopped- which was unsafely fast- Sam jumped out of the car.

“The hell?!” Dean snapped, and she realized Dean had seen her. “What are you thinking?” He added and she heard him get out. The door opened across from her and she pressed her hands against her eyes. She’d worked so hard to not do anything wrong, and now she’d be in trouble for sure.

“Come on, you gotta get out.” Sam said, his calm voice sounding completely forced. The fact that he told her to do something, rather than asking her to, was the only thing that urged her to move. She knew well that a command was to be obeyed, and quickly shoved herself to her knees, keeping her eyes pinched shut. She ducked her head and held her breathe while she waited. “Come on,” Sam repeated, but he didn’t sound as forced. She complied and moved to sit properly on the back seat with her knees pulled tightly to her chest, though kept her hands over her eyes. The fact that Dean hadn’t spoken yet scared her more than it should. She heard Sam sit down next to her on the seat then sigh, and realized she should probably breathe as well, at least a little.

“Thought we agreed you were staying in the bunker.” Dean said, finally speaking up. His voice was gruff, but he didn’t sound furious like Alex had expected- actually, neither of them really seemed all that mad. It was weird and probably scared her even more. When she did something wrong and Christopher was calm, she knew it was going to be worse.

“You know that where we’re going isn’t safe. We’re going right to some demons, ones that want you.” She let out a sharp breath and moved her hands to run them through her ginger hair. It was long, and though she had never cared about appearance, she was lucky it stayed mostly untangled. She had made a big mistake- she didn’t think this through at all. She very cautiously opened her eyes to glance at Sam, who had a powerfully sad expression on his face. She flinched- they weren’t reacting how they should and it was getting on her nerves, scaring her more. They sat for a minute or two in silence before Dean broke it, making her flinch.

“Look. This lead is a low-level demon, probably not even connected to the ones who had you. But we’ve got a limited time before that sucker is gone again for who knows how long.” He looked up at Sam, and Alex followed his gaze. Sam’s expression shifted into a form of agitation toward Dean’s words before he had even said them, “We're barely twenty minutes away-”

“Dean, no.” Sam cut him off, “No way in hell.” Her eyes widened- what was Dean even suggesting to get Sam so riled up?

“It won’t even take an hour, I’ll let you,” He grimaced, “I’ll let you put up freaking sigils on my baby. She’ll keep the knife, we’ll have the carved bullets.” Alex froze, his words clicking. He was suggesting they go there anyways, then Sam and Dean would go do whatever you do with demons, while she stayed in the car.

“Yeah, because that will work out _exactly_ as we want it to.” Sam stated with heavy sarcasm.

“This is the first lead we have besides a few names and that warehouse. Cas already went back, and they cleaned the entire freaking place out so much that there’s not even a fleck of dust, even on the ceiling. The sooner we strike, the weaker they’ll be; you know that.” Dean fought back. They were getting mad, and it was directly zapping her nerves. She fought to keep her breathing even- there were a few times Christopher and his buddies got into fights, and every time the loser took it out on her. When Christopher lost the argument it was especially bad. Deeper cuts, more bruises, burns- Sam must have caught her spiraling because she felt his hand touch her shoulder.

“Hey,” He started, but she flinched away with wide eyes. “No, it’s alright,” He stammered and removed his hand. Glancing at him revealed he seemed to not know what to do with himself in this situation. The look on his face- the concern for her- stopped her mind in its tracks. He cared for her, something no one around her previously did. She slowly crossed her arms and sat up more in the seat since she had curled up smaller in her panic. After a few seconds he spoke again, though he didn’t seem happy about it. “Are you going to be okay if Dean and I go out there?” He ground his jaw after he stopped talking. He seemed to have decided that seeing her fear, they had to do something- he needed to make it so she didn’t have to be afraid. That thought brought forward a calming feeling much like what Castiel had caused for her when she was scared in her room. She bit her lip, closed her eyes, and then worked up the courage to nod her head once. She stiffened, but was starting to let herself believe that maybe they weren’t going to hurt her. Thing _were_ different, things _were_ changing.

“Okay.” Dean said quietly, and they moved back to their seats in the front. The last twenty minutes felt like hours, but eventually they pulled over outside a secluded house at the end of a gravel road. They both got out and Alex watched curiously from inside as they tucked weapons onto their person and dug around in the trunk and through some bags. Dean gave her a knife that he said to use to protect herself. Sam used chalk and drew some weird symbols on the insides of the doors, then they slipped into the house with movements like predators. They were both so tall and big, yet they moved with unnaturally graceful movements.

Not five minutes later, she ducked down in the car with wide eyes as three more people entered the house. Something was off, and she felt her stomach churn. Sam and Dean were in there expecting one enemy, but it looks like it had brought back up. She spun the knife in her hands.

It seemed like an incredibly distant memory, but she still pulled it from the deep crevasses of her mind. Before Christopher took her, another unfortunate even happened- about a year before that a robber had broken into her house. She had been home alone in her room, and locked the door and called the police. It went smoothly, they came and arrested the guy, but of course she was frightened- she was only eleven years old, after all. Her brother, four years older than her, took it upon himself to make her feel better. He had been taking kick boxing at school, and starting teaching her how to defend herself- her parents approved as soon she started visibly getting less scared of everything. She knew a lot of blocks and a few offensive moves. In fact, when first taken by Christopher she had used all the fighting skills she could- of course as a young teenager she wasn’t strong and was only punished for fighting back.

She knew with all her being that she was once again making a huge mistake as she quietly slipped from the car with the knife clutched in her hand tightly. She’d seen where the three more had entered, and figured it would be best to enter through a different entrance. She picked a side door, and after a few moments of hesitation slipped inside.

It was dark- none of the lights were on, and the place was pretty empty. She heard a bang of a punch and someone shouted- she didn’t recognize the voice. They were above her- upstairs, she assumed. She was in a bare kitchen bearing only the pale counters and shelves. Even the oven and sink were gone. She crept to the corner and waited, her knees shaking as she decided no one was near. She nearly fell down as she rounded the corner to catch a glimpse of the three walking into the living room. She jerked back into the kitchen and listened as the fighting echoed upstairs again, then heard the three sprinting up the stairs. Swerving around the corner she pressed the knife against her chest and crept to the stairs. This was such a bad idea.

She jogged up the stairs with silent steps, flinching as she heard Dean shout and something shatter nearby- it sounded like a table. When she reached the top she stayed tucked out of sight. She had heard the group of three spilt both ways down the hall since the stairs came up perpendicular to the hall and held her breath nervously. Such a bad idea- this house was bigger than she expected.

“Dean!?” She heard Sam shout from her left. There was a bang near him and thumping as something was knocked over. Adrenaline kicked into her veins and she ducked around the corner. The door she reached was cracked open. She could see into that room, then the door to the next was straight across and wide open, where she spotted Sam landing a punch onto some guy’s chin before slipping out of sight. She was about to move forward when one of the three new guys moved into sight in the room right in front of her- luckily not facing her. Though when he lifted a gun and Sam’s back moved into sight in the next room, she panicked. He seemed to have defeated the one he had been fighting, but didn’t know there was another demon with a gun pointed at his back. Despite how hard her mind fought against her, she forced past her fears and shouted,

“Sam!” He whipped his head around and ducked in time for the bullet to miss by an inch and explode on the wall behind him. The demon spun around to face her, jerked the door open, and reached out at her. She ducked down and was lucky that Sam had jumped over and locked his elbow around the man’s neck.

“Knife!” He snapped and she hesitated before taking a step forward- she didn’t know how to get it to him. Apparently she waited too long, because an unseen force crashed against her and her back slammed against the wall. Something cut into her side, which caused her vision to flash black for a few seconds with pain. She could feel the force as if she had been buried neck-deep in sand, and the only reason she wasn’t completely panicking from this supernatural power was because this force had been used against her a few times before. Of course those were some of the worst times, but the fact that it was familiar helped. Sort of; okay, not really, and she felt fear crawl up her spine anyways. Sam tightened his grip and the man clawed at his arm, and she felt the force let up a little. She had no idea if it would work, but she used her strength to toss the knife somewhat toward Sam- and was completely shocked when he caught it and stabbed it into the man.

Instantly released, she crumpled on the ground and pressed her hand into her side. There was a crash on the other side of the house- in the action she’d forgotten about Dean. Sam glanced at her and she shoved aside her fears and nodded once. His jaw tightened, he handed her the knife, and sprinted out. They were pretty far away, but she could still hear the fighting go on for a little while.

 In the meantime she shakily got to her feet and walked out the door- straight into the third demon’s hands. He jerked her forward then pressed her against the wall with his forearm. Her side flared and her vision flashed when her head hit the wall. When she opened her eyes he was only inches from her face. She’d made a mistake coming in here, and now she was reaping the consequences- and she knew that even more as the demon hissed,

“He’s been looking for you.” His eyes flashed black and she felt herself starting to slip back to the self-preservation technique of going placid and obeying. But she didn’t want that- that wasn’t _fair_ , not after all this. He used his free hand to grab her chin to make her look at him, and she took her chance to clumsily spin the knife in her hand and hit it into him- it barely even nicked his side, and only served to make him furious. He cursed and slammed her wrist that had been holding it onto the wall. It burned and she instantly wished she wasn’t so small and fragile. The knife clattered noisily onto the ground as if it was mocking her.

He yanked her from the wall and pulled her specifically by her twisted wrist so that she followed to lessen the pain. She managed to stay on her feet until the middle of the way down the stairs, where she tripped and crashed into his back. He stumbled and pulled her in front of him. But the action loosened his grip on her wrist and she slipped out, stumbling the last few steps to the ground. He moved down toward her with a frighteningly calm expression and actions. Dean practically materialized behind him and cracked his elbow down on the demon’s head. He dropped to the ground for a second but bounced up as if made of rubber, swinging at Dean. Alex took her chance and swerved around the corner.

They almost had her. Christopher almost had her- that’s obviously the ‘he’ the demon mentioned. And she’d spoken- if Christopher found out he’d nearly kill her, let her heal, and do it again. She had to leave- they would bring her to Christopher. She kept her hand pressed against her side to try and lessen the burning brought forth when she began walking again. She figured it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle though, she’d probably had worse- therefore she slipped out the door and toward the car. When she reached it she moved so it was between the house and her, then dropped heavily to the ground against its cold metal side. After a few minutes she heard feet crunching on the gravel road loudly.

“Kid?” Dean shouted. She covered her head with her arms when she heard running, and closed her eyes as it reached her.

“She’s here.” Sam shouted from a few feet away. “It’s just me, it’s Sam,” And she felt hands lightly touch her arms. She stiffened then opened her eyes to peer through her arms. He had a cut on his forehead that was bleeding quite a bit, and Dean was crouched next to him bleeding from his neck and shoulder. “Are you hurt?” Sam asked, and she glanced back at him. Once she caught her breath she slowly lowered her arms and looked around. Her hand fluttered to her side, which burned, but she moved to get up anyways. She didn’t realize the extent of the injury until white-hot pain flashed in her side and she fell awkwardly on the gravel. Sam quickly shoved her back to a sitting position and moved her hand. It was only bleeding a little, therefore she was pretty sure he didn’t know that it hurt a bit more than just some cuts.

 “How bad is it?” Dean asked, but she easily kept her mouth shut. She’d spoken to someone- the greatest crime. They seemed to realize she wasn’t going to say anything and collected themselves, then Sam helped her into the car since Dean had something wrong with his arm and his own side. Because of how completely devastated their three-man army was, Sam drove them into the closest hotel parking lot.

She’d spoken. They were going to kill her. Not Sam and Dean, but Christopher- he was going to beat the crap out of her. She could feel the new mindset she had been adapting take _so_ many steps back, fueled by regret and anxiety.


	6. Opening Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes everything she's got, but Alex begins to reach out and test this new world she's been put back into, managing to make a breakthrough in her progress of trusting the Winchesters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry about any grammar errors, and if there are any too confusing to understand, leave a comment and I'll fix it as soon as I see it.
> 
> Also, should only be about three more left, depending on if I can stop myself from writing too much as I tend to have a habit of doing xD

Sam got them a room and herded her and Dean inside. She moved out of the way and pulled a chair to the opposite side of the room to sit on in a fearful daze. She’d _talked_ , and had absolutely no idea how they were going to react- better safe than sorry. Even though she _was_ sorry, and completely regretted talking; ignoring the fact that it had helped Sam. Sam watched her with sad eyes but helped out Dean with his arm and side first- he was bleeding quite a bit since he had been holding off multiple demons at once. Alex removed her hand from her own side and calmly tried to roll the fabric up to look at it, but moved her arm too much and stopped to avoid further pain. Sadly she’d seen and felt worse.

When Dean dismissed Sam while calling him ‘Nurse Sammy’, Sam walked slowly to Alex with evident caution.

“Can I help?” He asked with a worried expression. She dropped her eyes to avoid his sad look that she knew would show up when she didn’t respond to him. After a few seconds he sighed and walked to the table then returned. Glancing up, she noticed he’d grabbed a makeshift first aid kit. Though when he knelt down next to her she couldn’t help but shy away- they _had_ to be upset; she’d spoken, _communicated_. “I gotta make sure it isn’t bad, okay?” He asked and she had to stop and think to understand his statement until she realized he was talking about her wound, not the fact that she’d spoken. Was he avoiding it? Was that a good thing?

She pulled her attention back to him and moved her hands away from it. He gave her a sympathetic smile then rolled her shirt up. “Oh, see, it’s not too bad. Just bleedin’ a little.” He said and gave her a smile. She furrowed her eyebrows and watched him get some gauze and bandages. He shifted on his knees and glanced up at her, “You gonna be okay if I put some of this on it,” He asked and held up a bottle, “Like with your shoulder before?” She watched him cautiously and he sighed when she gave no answer. He poured some on the gauze and moved it to her side. The burning of the liquid was only a little surprising, but as soon as he pressed against her side to try and stop the bleeding, she couldn’t help but jump away from the searing pain- and nearly fall off the chair. He fumbled and let go, stopping her from falling. “Whoa, whoa; what? What hurts?” He stammered and hovered his hands a few inches away from her, not quite knowing what to do.

Swallowing the pain as she’d taught herself to do so for years, she straightened herself in the chair and rolled her shirt out of the way again. Sam seemed hesitant and almost annoyed, but pressed it against her side again anyways. She barely even flinched this time. She’d never had someone actually asking ‘what hurts’, because in the past whatever she answered instantly became a weak spot; therefore a target.

The car ride back was obscenely silent. Dean asked once how she was doing, and Sam watched her knowingly through the mirror with a gaze that let her know he had not forgotten that she’d spoken. She’d hoped he would forget, but knew she wasn’t going to get that lucky. But now that things had calmed down since everyone was safe, she could once again feel the twinge of hope flare back up in her soul. Maybe she wouldn’t get in trouble- they had told her many, many times that she was allowed to talk. But Christopher said she couldn’t, and he _was_ still out there. She spent the rest of the ride having an intense internal debate on the subject.

As soon as they got back to the bunker Alex quickly tucked herself away into the back corner of the library to gather her thoughts. None of them had hurt her yet, nor expressed she was in any trouble for talking. She tested her wrist to find it was still hurting quite a bit, but felt a little better. She perked up as Sam and Dean could be heard talking in the next room over.

“She could have gotten killed.” Dean spat lowly.

“You think I don’t know that?” Sam replied harshly, then sighed, “We should have brought her back here.” She heard one of them scoff and assumed it was Dean. After a few seconds Sam spoke again. “She said my name, you know. Saved me from a bullet.” She could almost picture the surprise that would have covered Dean’s face.

“Really?” Dean asked with a tone of disbelief. “Good. Guess you and Cas were right- she’s just scared.” The conversation died down and she peeled herself from her hiding place to sit at the table in the library instead. They were right- she _was_ scared. But now that she was really thinking about it, why should she still be so scared? Sam and Dean both insisted so often that it’s all right for her to talk- could that possibly be true?

A little while later she was starting to think something might need to be done about her injuries. She had pressed her hands on the table when she went to stand up, and it shot pain up her arm from her wrist, and standing itself racked pain across her side. She continued through a few more hours until she finally got fed up and went out to search for one of the boys. She spotted Dean first and hesitantly walked toward him. He was kicked back on a couch and had his eyes closed- was he asleep? She paused, watching him intently. He seemed to just be resting because his breathing wasn’t slow, so she moved silently to his side. Her noiseless motions worked against her this time though, because when she gently tapped his shoulder she surprised him. He flinched and instinctively grabbed the hand that had touched him. Pain flashed in her wrist and she pinched her eyes shut. He instantly let go and sat up.

“God, sorry, you’re so quiet.” He breathed, then paused. “Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?” He asked quickly and she opened her eyes cautiously. She hesitated before turning her wrist over to show it to him. It was slightly swollen and was forming a nasty purple bruise. Her hand was still pressed against her side, but at the moment her wrist was hurting more. She was pretty sure it wasn’t broken, but it sure hurt like heck. He breathed out sharply and stood up, turning her wrist over with surprisingly gentle motions. He cursed under his breath and looked around before speaking. “Okay,” He paused to analyze his thoughts before continuing, “Probably a sprain. Hopefully. Let’s wrap it up just in case, alright?” When she nodded he blinked with slight surprise and smiled lightly. He motioned for her to follow, and she obeyed. They went into the kitchen where they had dumped their bags, and she nervously sat down while he dug through a bag. They seemed to stay stocked up on lots of different medical supplies- considering what they’d just been through, they must get injured quite often.

He walked back over to her and she held her hand up to let him start wrapping.

“It’s good that you came to me.” He mentioned, glancing up at her to give her a smile before returning to continue slowly wrapping her wrist. He seemed to realize that she wasn’t going to make a sound if he accidentally hurt her, so he was being overly gentle to prevent that. Once he was done he patted her shoulder and went to get something to drink out of the fridge, and she slipped back to the library before he even turned around. One injury at a time felt less overwhelming; maybe later she would come back for her side.

\----------------

            _< Sam’s POV>_

            Sam ran his hand through his hair, moving from his room to return to his laptop in the library. It had been a few days and everyone was rested up, so he figured it was time they tried again to get an idea where that demon, Christopher, was holed up. He deserved worse than death.

When he rounded the corner she was in the library again. He’d found her in there quite a lot for the past few days, pulling out books to read them in the corner of the room. He noticed she ran her fingers gently over the page to follow where she was reading, and she tended to have a confused expression on her face. But that was expected- it’s not as if any of these books were easy reads; a quarter of them were in foreign languages. He smiled warmly at her when she glanced up, then sighed internally when she quickly hid her face by glaring back down at the book, her red hair falling like curtains around her face. It actually looked like it might be one of the encyclopedias- odd.

Once he collapsed into a chair and tugged the closed laptop toward him, he paused to watch her curiously. He still knew next to nothing about her- ‘her’; they didn’t even know her name. From what he could tell, she got plucked up and tossed into her own personal hell with those demons. He’d seen some scars on her that looks sort of old, but he hadn’t really been paying attention, therefore she could have been with him for weeks, even months. She didn’t talk at all, she seemed scared to do so. Also, she looked young- probably around twenty. Pretty small and short- even though everyone is short compared to him- and underweight. Long red hair and blue eyes above freckles made up her appearance.

She must have felt him watching her because those previously mentioned blue eyes snapped up to watch him. The fear riddled in her eyes was like a sack of bricks on his heart- God, he couldn’t even imagine the things she’d been through to cause such a look. And he and Dean had been through a lot as well. He politely nodded then opened his laptop, not wanting to make her nervous. He didn’t even know how to act around her, the feeling that he was going to do something wrong and either scare or trigger her constantly loomed over his decisions. He brought his hand up to rub his eyes, and when he dropped it he caught her standing slowly. When she closed her book he confirmed it was indeed an encyclopedia. Not even his sharp and calculating mind could come up with a reason why she’d be reading that in her spare time, since now that he thought about it, that was the same book he’d seen her with for the past two days.

Though when she reached up, he jerked himself back to attention as she flinched strongly upon lifting the book back onto the shelf. Was she hurt? When she turned around he caught the last few seconds of a pained expression slipping from her features and decided to act.

“You doing alright?” He asked and cocked one eyebrow. She locked eyes with him then dropped them. “Are you hurt?” He reiterated, his voice naturally quieting and slipping into a comforting tone- what was with her and not showing pain? Even when he stitched her up, poured alcohol into her gashed shoulder, she didn’t even make a peep. And Dean told him a few days ago that he’d bandaged up her wrist because it was sprained- and even when he accidentally grabbed her hurt wrist, she didn’t make a single sound. Was that related to her being afraid to talk? Was she afraid to express pain as well? What did those demons _do_ to her?

When her eyes flicked back up to his the fear was there but there was a hint of something else right before she nodded her head once. Barely even an inch of movement, but enough for him to catch. His eyebrows instantly furrowed and he stood up- slowly as to not frighten her- and moved around the table to stand near her.

As expected she shied away a bit, then brought her hands up to her left side. “The cut?” Sam questioned. She’d gotten a cut, but nothing too bad, and he only had to put some gauze on it. They both hesitated, for he didn’t even know what was wrong, and she seemed scared to even move. But after a second she turned to sit on top of the table and he caught her wince before and while she rolled her shirt up. Sam ground his jaw and felt guilt build up behind his eyes. It was ratted with purple and yellow bruises- just a glance told him at least two of her ribs were probably cracked. He exhaled sharply. The first words that came to his head were to tell her she should have said something, but he stopped himself since criticizing her probably wasn’t the best idea at the moment; at least she was showing him now. “Okay,” He sighed calmly, glanced over his shoulder, then watched her, “Does it hurt to breathe at all?” Her eyes, which had previously been downcast, jerked up to lock with his for a few seconds. For that brief time the fear in her eyes was completely replaced with a look that basically spoke the words “how did you know” for her. His spirits dropped practically to the balls of his feet and he ran his hand through his hair. “Your rib is probably cracked; probably from when you hit that wall.” Her eyes widened slightly before she dropped them back to the floor. The lack of response was still something Sam was trying to get used to, so he blinked then motioned over his shoulder, “I think there’s some bandages in the bathroom; we should probably wrap you up so they don’t move as much.” Though when he turned to leave, he only made it a few steps until he realized she hadn’t moved. When he glanced back at her with raised eyebrows she seemed to panic slightly before deciding to follow him.

            The door to her room was already open, therefore he walked in while carefully listening to her barely audible footsteps behind him. She was so quiet it was eerie. He crouched down and fished out some ace bandages- which were old, but should still work fine- and padded back into her room. He found her sitting on the bed with her arms wrapped nervously around her torso. God, Sam wished there was something he could do to ease her constant terror. At this point, he’d do just about anything.

When he walked up to her with an apologetic smile he managed to meet her eyes- which surprisingly didn’t look as scared as before; instead, they echoed confusion. Huh. She dropped her arms and rolled her shirt- technically his since he’d practically given it to her- up to once again reveal the savage bruises on her ribs. Though this time, he did take notice of some other scars on her side- some looked pretty old. He hoped to whatever God was listening that she hadn’t gotten those from the demons- they looked _years_ old. He kicked the thought from his head and glanced at her before pressing on her side as gently as he could. She flinched against his touch and he fought to keep a morose frown off his mouth. One rib was definitely cracked, but luckily the others didn’t feel as bad. She continued to watch him curiously as he carefully wrapped the bandage around her midsection, glancing at her expression to check her pain levels each time he had to tighten the bandage.

            Once done he stepped back and smirked, giving her a slightly forced smile and a joke in an attempt to calm her down; “You look like a mummy.” She really did though- her wrist was wrapped up to her elbow, and now her entire stomach and midsection were wrapped up as well. At least her shoulder was assumedly doing a lot better since she took the wrap off at some point. To his great surprise, she made the tiniest huff that almost sounded like the beginning of a snicker. He almost commented on it before he realized calling her out would ruin it, and instead pulled his mouth into a genuine smirk. Compared to when they first brought her back when she hiding in the most secluded spaces, she seemed to slowly be getting better. It had been a few weeks now, and the thought that they might be getting close to ganking those sick demons twisted his stomach a little; she’d be safe and therefore free to go. It would be odd not having her there after all this time of him and Dean focusing all their energy on her, trying to make her comfortable, to help her.

Since she seemed to not have any other form of reply, he nodded and glanced at the door. “I guess I’ll go. If there’s anything else, feel free to tell Dean or me; that’s what we’re here for.” Turning, he slipped out the door, managing to meander a few feet before he registered the sound of her door creaking open more.

“Sam.” Hearing her voice caught him completely off guard. He dug his heels into the ground and spun to face her. She was in the process of raising her hand, probably to tap his shoulder, and instantly dropped her hand with wide eyes. A shocked grin spread across Sam’s mouth. He was baffled and was still too busy processing to even come up with a reply. She stayed frozen for a few seconds, then shifted in place. He kept his own mouth shut- despite that he at first fought to keep his jaw from dropping- in order to see if she’d continue. Her mouth opened slightly as if she was going to say something, then snapped shut again as her eyes fell. But she didn’t have to say more, Sam already understood- it seemed like she had wanted to thank him, but she must have been too afraid to say more than just his name. Sam gave her a grin as a reply, and excitement boiled in his stomach when she smiled back very meekly.

“You wanna come talk with us a little?” Sam asked and stepped backwards down the hall, hoping she’d follow. This was new; this was a breakthrough, and if she was at all willing to talk he needed to try and learn something about her, or at least get her to understand that talking isn’t bad. He huffed out an excited laugh as she nodded then followed him, then he turned and strode from the hall toward the library. “Dean.” He chirped loudly, hearing movement in the kitchen. Dean peeked his head around the corner with a curious expression.

“What?” He replied, walking out toward Sam and her. Sam simply jerked his head toward the library, glancing over his shoulder to make sure she was still following. Once at the table he pulled out a chair and faced it toward her, then sat on his own. Dean followed in after her and leaned against the table once she sat down. Sam instantly asked the first question that came to mind;

“How is your wrist?” He observed her good hand hover slightly over the bandaged wrist before it dropped to rest on her leg.

“Okay.” She responded. Dean straightened in obvious surprise and Sam caught a wide smirk spread across his brother’s mouth.

“What’s your name?” Dean asked as he pulled a chair and sat backwards on it to rest his arms on the top of the back. She hesitated before shaking her head ‘no’ lightly. Sam readied himself to stop Dean from pressing her, but was surprised when Dean just nodded his head in thought.

“How old are you?” Sam asked, wanting to keep the, albeit curt, conversation going.

“Nineteen.” Sam grinned eagerly and glanced at Dean, who now had a grin taking over his visage as well. It was about time they got her to talk- he wouldn’t have even believed someone could go without making any noises for two weeks straight if he hadn’t seen it himself.

“How come you don’t talk?” Dean interjected, seemingly determined to dig deeper into the mystery that she is. Strike two for Dean- she stiffened and hugged her arms around herself, dropping her eyes to the ground. Sam watched warily- he didn’t want her to get upset and stop talking. Her voice was quiet and sounded like when someone very first wakes up, letting him know that she really doesn’t talk much, even when she’s not around them.

“Can’t.” She murmured after a few seconds. That noticeably surprised both of them, for the odd answer wasn’t at all what they were expecting. Therefore Sam was still in thought while Dean replied quickly with a baffled tone,

“What do you mean? You’re talking right now.” He laughed in surprise. She shook her head, her face contorting into a slightly scared countenance. “She’s talking right now.” He repeated quieter, this time to Sam, and motioned from her to him in confusion.

“Dean, stop, you’re freaking her out.” Sam snapped quickly when she curled her knees defensively against her chest. He waited a few seconds to make sure she wasn’t going to bolt then gave her a soft smile. Once she relaxed and rested her chin semi-calmly on top of her knees he spoke up again. “How long were you with those demons?” He asked quietly and tried to keep the somber tone that came with the question out of his voice.

“Yeah, because _that’s_ not going to freak her out.” Dean spat to the side at him. Sam simply shot him an annoyed glare then returned his eyes to her when he caught her move- she was counting on her fingers.

“Seven.” She announced, then glanced between the brothers. He glanced at Dean then her,

“Seven what? Days?” He replied and didn’t even bother to wipe the confusion from his face. Her eyes dropped, but she shook her head. Dread began crawling through his veins. “Weeks; months?”

“Years. Seven years.” Dean answered for her with a grim, quiet, and hurt voice. Her eyes flashed toward Dean, lingered, and then dropped again. As soon as the truth registered in Sam’s head he shoved up from the table to pace a few steps. Seven _years_? Seven freaking years with those demons? He ran his hands over his face- he had to be mad later, getting mad now would make things so much worse. When he turned to glance back at her she was staring at him intently with wide eyes, and Dean was sitting with his face in his hands. The fear in her eyes trickled ice onto his hot anger and he slowly walked back over to lean against the table with his arms crossed over his chest. “You were twelve?” Dean continued with a just-as-baffled voice as he lifted his head, “ _Do_ you know your name?” He added and huffed out a grim laugh. She pulled her eyes from Sam to glance at Dean.

“Alex.” She responded. Despite the hatred toward the demons Sam was fighting to keep down, he felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth- they _finally_ knew her name. Alex; the name fit. Of course Sam had guessed as to what her name could have been, and though Alex hadn’t been one of them, it fit like a glove for some reason.

“Are you hungry; do you need anything?” He asked. She’d never asked for food, and earlier was the first time she’d asked for help when being hurt, therefore he worried there were other things she had been afraid to bring to their attention. But she shook her head in reply anyways.

“Why don’t you wanna talk?” Dean countered. Damn velcro-mind his brother had; he glared warningly at him despite that Dean was attentively watching Alex. She fidgeted in her chair then got up in one silent, smooth motion.

“Not… allowed.” She murmured as she brought her hands up to rub against her face, which was probably contorted behind her hands. Sam shoved off the table but stopped himself when he realized he didn’t actually know how to comfort her without scaring her- but he definitely wanted to comfort her.

A noise suddenly snapped to the left of Sam’s ear and he jumped even though his mind already knew the sound- Castiel appeared at the side of the table, his coat settling around him. Dean had jumped slightly as well, but Alex shot backwards a few steps with her back against the bookshelves.

“It’s okay, it’s just Cas.” Sam blurted out, raising his hands futilely then dropping them limply to his sides. She was staring fixedly at Castiel with fear in her eyes, but it seemed as if she wasn’t scared of him, but rather of what would happen next. Castiel glanced around with furrowed eyebrows before his face softened with a hint of recognition. He had probably scanned their heads for what he had interrupted; and Sam’s guess was confirmed when the angel turned to Alex and spoke.

“May I tell them?” It was Sam’s turn for his eyebrows to furrow in confusion. Tell them what? What did Castiel know that he and Dean didn’t? He’d only even really been around Alex a few times, hadn’t he? Nearly a minute crawled by before she crossed her arms, drop her chin to stare at the floor, and then nodded her head. Castiel nodded back at her, then turned to Sam and Dean and sucked in a breath to begin a long-winded explanation.


	7. Caught The Scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys catch a whiff of some nearby demons and head down to check it out, with Alex in tow despite the many times they tried to convince her to stay int he safety of the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here we go- edited the chapter to get rid of my accidental resurrection of a deceased character, whoops!

“Hey,” Sam’s voice reached Alex’s ears. She perked up from where she was sitting at the library table. He walked up and sat down across from her at the table, pulling the closed book he had been reading over to him. “How’re your ribs?” Ever since Cas explained what he knew to them, they’d been trying to keep her talking any chance they could. She appreciated it, and she was willing to try- but that doesn’t mean it didn’t freak her out still.

“Better.” She replied quietly, letting a light smile flash on her face. One-word replies were easier, and they seemed to placate the worried brothers enough. He nodded his head, though after a few seconds while she went back to reading she could tell in her peripheral vision that he was watching her. She glanced back up at him and pushed her red hair behind her ear.

“So I’ve been meaning to ask, why in God’s name do you only read the encyclopedias, of all the books in here?” His eyebrow raised as a smirk tugged at his mouth. She felt her face redden and flipped it over to gaze across the cover. Honestly, she’d tried reading the other books, but they were too hard. She may be nineteen, but she only learned to read up to an advanced twelve-year-old’s level. At least the encyclopedia taught her what the words she didn’t know meant, rather than just scanning her eyes over a plethora of incredibly confusing words. It didn’t help that most of the books here had other languages mixed in. She risked a glance toward him.

“I can’t read well.” She mumbled quietly and closed the book, resting her hand on top. His smile vanished and he seemed to connect the she hadn’t read since she was twelve, then stumbled to catch himself,

“You- you don’t have to stop, I was just curious.” He paused to watch her for a few seconds before adding, “I can help teach you, if you’d like.” Her eyebrows furrowed- he’d actually be willing to take the time to teach her those things? This was all going to take some getting used to.

“Sammy.” Dean’s voice echoed down the hallway. Alex turned around as he rounded the corner holding Sam’s opened laptop and watched him curiously. “I think I got something.” He stated with an odd twinge of surprise in his voice. “Look.” He set it down and faced it toward Sam, and Alex got up to silently peek around Dean’s shoulder to look as well. It seemed to be a paused surveillance recording. Without any other words he played the video.

It was the inside of a gas station. The camera was stuffed up in the corner so that the door was to the right and the counter to the left, leaving the middle as a maze of shelves of consumer products. Alex noted that the time in the bottom corner stated it as 21:45- she frowned in confusion for the time made no sense to her.  Her attention was redirected when there was movement near the top of the screen. Surprisingly it wasn’t anything inside the store, but rather, through the window. Barely any light bled through to the area outside the store, but there was enough to see the basic contours of two people. They seemed to be just talking for a few seconds. The taller one to the right seemed to place his hand on the other’s shoulder before a shout screeched through the speakers. Alex jumped back a good distance- that was the shout of someone being surprised with pain; she knew that sound. It was slightly different from someone just getting scared, it was more rushed and ended too sharply. Though she had stepped back, she still watched despite the fact the Dean was conspicuously watching her. The man on the left started to fall, but the one on the right held him up for a few seconds before dropping him casually. He proceeded to calmly look down and fiddle with something in his hands. None of this was making sense- Sam and Dean had been looking for information on the demons, but how could Dean link demons to this? It didn’t show anything obviously demonic, like the smoke or weird symbols she’d seen with Christopher.

When it ended Sam jerked it toward himself and started clicking things before starting it over, zoomed in on the two people. It looked the same to her, but he seemed convinced.

“Let me guess, throat slit and some blood missing?” He said with a tired voice.

“Yep.” Dean chirped and leaned back over to pull something else up.

“What does that mean?” Alex forced herself to ask. She was deathly curious, and learning about the monsters that held her captive for seven years felt like the right thing to do. Hopefully. Sam perked up visibly, not expecting her to talk of her own will rather than replying to their frequent questions.

“What that demon did, cut the throat of that man, is to work a blood spell. The fresh blood is put in a cup and the demons can talk to each other like on the phone.” Sam replied, turning to face the paused screen to her. It was stuck on the man looking down into his hands, and Sam’s work made it easier to tell it was a fancy cup of sorts filled with a dark liquid- obviously blood now that Sam mentioned it. She’d never seen Christopher or the others do that, but could see them doing it without a care in the world. They’d spilled enough of her blood alone and she’d never considered they might have done the same or more to others until now. A sickening twist settled in her stomach at the thought and she quickly quieted herself.

“Okay, so we go track him down?” Sam asked and pulled an opened notebook in front of him. “Where even was this?”

“North Platte, Nebraska. Three hours from here.” Dean answered, worrying Alex as he glanced at Sam. Three hours from here- it took eight hours to get here from the warehouse, and their last venture was two hours out. They seemed to be getting an idea of where she and the Winchesters were hiding out. Alex shifted on her feet nervously at the thought and was glad when Sam broke the silence- at least until he turned to face her.

“Considering how last time went, you’re gonna have to stay here.” He announced quietly. Her eyes widened understandably; here in the bunker? By herself? With demons only three hours away? She broke eye contact to stare widely at the floor. It _did_ seem like the place was pretty impenetrable with it being underground and heavily barred and locked up. But Castiel could get in here fine with his popping-in-and-out power, and she’d seen Christopher do that in the past. Could he get in as well? Her anxiety must have showed on her face because Sam scrambled to calm her.

“No, it’ll be fine. Nothing can get in here, and last time didn’t go well. We don’t want you to get hurt again.” She risked a glance at him then at Dean as he gave his own input,

“Look, it’s the same situation. We saw a demon and don’t even know if it’s related. We’ll just drop in, throw some punches, and hopefully get some answers. But we can’t have you with us in case we run into that Chris guy-”

“Christopher.” Alex snapped quickly out of instinct. No one was allowed to call him Chris, it _had_ to be Christopher. She hadn’t even attempted to keep the fear generated from the use of the nickname off her face and apparently startled both men. Both of their eyebrows raised considerably, and Sam’s mouth opened then snapped shut twice.

“Um… Christopher.” Dean replied slowly. They both watched her in silence until they realized she wasn’t going to say anything else.

“Are you gonna be alright if we leave for the day? We’ll probably make it back before dark.” Sam asked, recapturing her attention. She could manage on her own for one day… Right? Although the more she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t been left alone to her own devices since she was _twelve_. The closest thing to being alone was locked in her room at the warehouse, but that seemed different. Seconds passed by while she considered it until she nodded her head silently. Sam nodded and gave her a smile.

“Alright,” Dean said and quietly clapped his hands together, “Go get your stuff, Sammy.” Sam scoffed and the two wandered back out from the library. But curiosity tugged Alex along behind them, specifically Dean since Sam disappear into his room while Dean moved to the kitchen where some stuff was still gathered. What were they even planning on doing? What do you even _do_ with demons? She’d seen them kill them, but what else? Why did Sam throw salt all over the floor in the hotel- of all things? Wouldn’t nails or _anything_ else would have worked better?

Dean glanced over his shoulder at her and she had to fight the urge to hop back toward the library, but he gave her a smirk and stopped at the table to start shoving things into a brown bag. She moved around the table to stand on the other side, hesitantly picking up the closest thing to her hand. Her intentions had been to hand it to Dean, but she paused when it happened to be a container of salt. Salt; _really_?

“Keeps the monsters at bay.” Dean answered, barely glancing at her. She furrowed her eyebrows but handed it to him anyways. “Ghosts, demons, and some other baddies can’t cross a line of salt,” He picked up a gun and tapped it, “And bullets filled with rock salts do a heck of a lot more damage than regular ones.” Her interest peaked and she watched him curiously as he zipped the bag closed.

“Why?” She chirped quietly, her head tilting to the side a bit. He seemed slightly surprised she’d asked, then his own face shifted into a confused glare. His eyes traveled around the room in thought, then back at the salt container in his hand.

“Uh, it’s sort of- It’s a repellant…” He stammered then broke into a chuckle and rubbed his forehead, “Go ask Sam.” He said and waved his hand dismissively while slinging the bag over his shoulder, a smirk seemingly a permanent feature on his face. A small smile played across Alex’s own mouth and she moved to stand in the doorway. Dean shuffled his way back into the library and Sam came from the direction of the hallways to head to the library as well. She silently trotted after him, stopping to watch as he gathered up his laptop and a few pieces of paper around it. Apparently he hadn’t noticed her following him because he jumped around and flinched visibly. She stepped back with wide eyes, her panic only easing after he sighed out a laugh and shook his head.

“God, you’re so quiet.” He commented and turned in a circle. “You have the knife?” He asked Dean as his brother walked by.

“Yeah.” Dean replied without even looking or stopping and patted the bag still on his shoulder. Sam nodded and turned to leave only to turn back around and point at Alex.

“You know what, hold on a second.” He said vaguely. Alex stiffened and watched him carefully as he retrieved a sharpie off the table and walked back toward her. “I’m gonna draw a symbol on your hand, it’ll keep you even safer.” He uncapped it but stopped when her eyes widened and she didn’t move. He gave her a tired smile before tugging the collar of his shirt down to reveal a black tattoo of a star symbol with an odd circle-thing around it. She eased up a bit as she distracted herself with attempting to memorize the symbol and Sam picked up her not-bandaged hand and started to draw. She felt herself shift to pull her hand back but suppressed it- he wasn’t going to hurt her, he was doing the exact opposite. He finished and capped the sharpie, gave her a smile, then headed up the stairs to pack his bag into the car while she inspected it thoroughly.

With Dean somewhere else she continued to follow Sam up the stairs and out to the car- apparently where Dean was as well. When Sam started messing with something in the back seat she moved around him to see what Dean was doing at the trunk. She regretted it. It was practically overflowing with weapons of all sorts- guns, knives, a few machetes, things she didn’t even have words for.

Guns didn’t freak her out much since her father had started teaching about guns a few weeks before she was taken because he wanted her to be able to use it in case someone broke into the house again. She’d never shot one, but she knew about loading, cleaning, and types of ammo. But at the sight of _so many_ weapons she felt her mind relapse back to Christopher’s weapons, his _toys_ as he affectionately called them. Despite the fact that she knew neither Winchester would hurt her, she still stumbled backwards.

Dean noticed her once she moved and seemed confused until he connected she’s recoiled at the sight of their plethora of weapons, then raised his hands. She inadvertently bumped into Sam since he had been a few steps behind her, and flinched out of the way and to the side.

“Whoa, it’s okay.” Sam stated with wide eyes, sharing a glance with Dean. She continued to stand like a deer in headlights with her arms wrapped nervously around her stomach. Why would they have so many? She knew that they fought monsters and such- still a crazy concept to her- but they had practically any weapon she could think of; even wood carved into points for some odd reason. “No one’s going to hurt you.” He explained with a calm voice. He was right and she knew it. She wasn’t afraid of them, she was afraid of her memories with Christopher- Christopher wasn’t even there. Alex swallowed and nodded her head once, though after they calmed down she still kept her distance from the trunk of the car. Dean went back inside and she gratefully followed him in order to get away from the mountain of weaponry. At the bottom of the stairs he realized she was following him around once again, and turned to face her with a curious expression.

“You gonna’ be alright? You’re followin’ us around like a puppy.” She felt her face redden- she just didn’t know what to do with herself. As she’d considered before, she hadn’t been left on her own for seven years. She opened her mouth a little to reply but didn’t quite know how to explain herself and snapped it back shut. The door opening at the top of the stairs again caused her to spin around quickly as Sam looked down at them with a raised eyebrow.

“You guys good?” He asked suspiciously.

“You ask her,” Dean retorted and pointed at Alex causally before going back to the kitchen to most likely get food for them since they’d be driving for a while. Sam scoffed lightly and trotted down to stand by Alex with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised in a way that showed he was waiting for her to explain. A trickle of recognition entered her mind as she realized the desire she had been ignoring- she didn’t want to stay here, to wait alone with only her anxieties to keep her company. She wanted to be useful, to help, and regardless of her fear; she wanted to go with. She wasn’t sure why quite yet, but she wanted to come with. Before she could convince herself otherwise, she spoke her mind.

“I wanna come.” Without the courage to watch Sam’s reaction, her eyes stayed locked on the ground and she listened for Sam’s response. The silence that followed made her skin crawl with anticipation.

“I don’t know, Alex. Your ribs and wrist haven’t even had a chance to heal much.” Sam sighed quietly, and his voice was slightly muffled as if he was rubbing his face in thought. He was right, though, her wrist and side were still pretty painful. The wrap on both made them feel a bit better because it restricted the movement that was causing the pain, but twisting her torso much sent shocks of pain through her side. But what if she could help? Last time they got overwhelmed, and now the demons knew they were onto them and will be better prepared. Even if she can’t fight, there had to be _something_ she could do.

“Kid, you don’t understand what you’re getting into.” Dean said in a surprisingly soft tone as he walked out to stand beside her with his arms crossed exactly like Sam.

“Teach me.” She huffed in a last effort. She glanced up in time to see Sam’s face soften into what looked like sympathy and watched him warily as she suddenly became aware of what she was doing. She was asking something of them, rather than replying or asking simply questions. She was asking them to do something purely for her; and it felt reminiscent to her pre-captivity years. She hadn’t even came close to the chance to ask anything from anyone for so long that the feeling was almost forgotten completely. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done such a thing, much less had she imagined it would ever happen.

“Afterwards.” Dean hesitantly replied. She had slipped into her mind, therefore when he spoke she flinched and locked her eyes back onto the ground. Sam sighed and she heard him move anxiously in a circle.

“Are you sure?” He asked after a few seconds to break the silence that had been growing.

“Sam,” Dean started but stopped when Alex looked up with evident surprise at Sam. Was he going to let her come with? He was going to teach her? She really did want to learn about the mysterious creatures that held her captive and tortured her for seven years; she at least deserved to know more about them. She nodded her head cautiously and he sighed.

“I won’t stop you,” He stated then glanced at Dean, “But we’ll rent a hotel room, and after we tell you everything you need to know, you’ll be able to choose to stay there or go with.” Dean had a slightly annoyed smirk on his face but seemed to show he agreed by his lack of actual response. Alex nodded again and they separated to finish gathering the last few items before heading back to the car. She got into the back and curled up quietly, perking up as Dean started the car and Sam turned to face her.

“So, what do you already know about demons?” Her eyes widened as she realized she was going to have to talk a lot to explain things she knew. The idea terrified her, but she could feel Sam might be testing her- if she couldn’t get the courage to talk a little more than she was comfortable with, then he probably wouldn’t bring her out into the battlefield. It took a good few minutes of silence before she could build up the courage to even start- and she didn’t even know much to begin with.

\----------------                  

“Okay, tell me again how demons and humans work.” Sam asked, leaning forward at the table in the hotel room to watch her.

“Demons possess their bodies.” She replied quietly, attempting to summarize the answer into the shortest amount she would have to say. “They’re smoke.” Sam nodded after she added the extra bit, then looked up at the ceiling in thought.

“How much of the exorcism do you know yet?” Her muscles stiffened- that’s a lot to say. He’d given her a paper that he scrawled it out on, and during breaks in the conversation he had her try and memorize as much as she could. She knew the majority of it, but that was just too much for her to say in one period and she nervously pulled her knees up against her chest. “Okay, well, just keep that paper on you, alright?” He tried again, this time satisfied with an answer from her- a nod and a light smile. She still had the paper rolled up and in her fist, and she rolled it gently with her thumb. The position she was sitting in was hurting her side though, so she slowly uncurled herself.

She was currently sitting on the edge of one of the beds near the table, and Dean was out talking to the police and a few locals to try and get an idea of where to really even look. The car ride felt much longer than three hours when she considered how much information they had stuffed into her head- everything about demons; how they acted, their abilities depending on their rank, how they possess a human- also called a vessel- and so much that her head hurt by the time they got into the hotel room. It was a little after noon now and the sun was wrapping its light around everything it could reach through the cracks in the curtains. They had taken turns telling her everything they could think of. Some of the words and things they said didn’t make sense, but she understood most of it- and also realized how she could have fared better during her time with her captors. Had she only gotten ahold of salt, or somehow knew how to make holy water, maybe things could have been different. If she knew the exorcism ritual then she never would have been taken in the first place. Though when she murmured something along those lines to Sam, he and Dean jumped into long rants about how she couldn’t possibly have known, that she did everything she could have done, that she did everything right in such a situation.

“Are you really sure you wanna come with?” Sam asked as he leaned back and crossed his arms. “We told you we have no idea who and how many are going to be there.” He had been adamant about trying to get her to stay at the hotel. Both of them actually reminded her of how her older brother had been around her. Now she didn’t even know if he was alive. “Alex?” Sam stated and accidentally startled her back to attention. She nodded and even made sure to make eye contact. She wanted to come with, she could help. They already agreed she would stay back and close to them, and if anything took a turn for the worst she was to get out of there no matter what.

She flinched again when Sam’s phone went off, and he apologized and walked aimlessly around the room with Dean on the other line. She could hear his voice on the phone, but Sam’s movements made her unable to tell what Dean was saying; instead she only had Sam’s side of the conversation.

“Yeah. Who said that? Oh. Okay,” he glanced at her, “She still wants to come with. Yeah, I told her. I know. I know, Dean, cut the crap.” He scuffed his shoe on the floor mindlessly. “Really?” His face contorted a bit, “Gross, dude, didn’t need to know that. Wait, which aliases?” He snickered and turned to peer out the window. Lots of mumbles were heard from Dean before Sam spoke again. “Okay. Makes sense. I actually think the apartment sounds promising.” Dean’s voice got so quiet that Alex couldn’t even hear him anymore, and Sam glanced over his shoulder before wandering to the opposite side of the room with his back to her. “You think? Why?” Sam sighed after listening for a few seconds. “Okay, you close? Okay. Yeah.” He ended the call and lingered before walking back to the table with a neutral expression that looked slightly forced. He was worried, she could tell despite his attempts to hide it. It was weird to have people worried about her, she wasn’t used to that just yet.

“Okay, so Dean got a little about what happened at the gas station from the police, and got to see the body, which he confirmed had sulfur on it. There was a report a little while ago about an owner to an apartment building going missing, and judging by his description he seemed to match the demon’s vessel. He’s gonna swing by and we’ll go check out the apartments.” He paused and looked her over before sighing. “You still wanna come? You can totally stay here, it’d be safer,” He tried one last time. She give him a small smile and stood up. She’d gotten herself far enough into this that she didn’t want to back down. They’d gotten so far, and if they were going to risk themselves to help her, she should at least try to help them- they were the first people to try and help her for seven years. With a nod he picked up the bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Dean’s only a few minutes away. You got the holy water and the ritual?” A pat to her pocket told her the flask was still there, and she already knew the paper was in the small pocket of her flannel shirt. Well, Sam’s flannel. Him and Dean had simply designated some shirts for her and got their hands on some pants that mostly fit her since they had been a little too busy to go on a shopping trip while they could avoid it.

When the familiar sound of the car- which Dean told her was a 1967 Impala- rumbled outside the door, she followed Sam out and took her normal place in the back seat. She liked it back there, it made her feel safe since she could sit in the middle and be able to see out any of the windows easily.

In spite of how hard she tried to stay calm and convince herself things would be all right, she was still a nervous wreck by the time Dean killed the engine across the street from the apartment building. It was a large brick building that loomed in front of them, all the windows except for the ground floor dark and empty. With the landlord who owned the place most likely possessed by a demon, there was barely anyone renting a place there. The landlord had gone missing a few weeks ago- scarily close to the time Christopher and the rest of his gang had to ditch the warehouse they’d had for years because the Winchesters came in a’ stomping.

Alex waited until both brothers were out to remove herself from the comfort of the car, scanning her eyes over the building. How were they going to find anything; the place was at least five stories according to the fire escape on the wall facing them. She stepped out of the way when Sam and Dean moved to get supplies from the trunk. When they had first gotten to the motel Sam and Dean talked quietly to each other while they assumed she was out of earshot. Sam had mentioned they needed to be careful about weapons around her, that he thought seeing the weapons in the trunk had ‘triggered her’. He was right of course, but the lengths they both would go to make her comfortable still astounded her.

“You hang onto this.” Dean declared, handing the handle of the demon blade they taught her about out toward her. She took it and held it gently in her hands as she inspected the engravings on its clean surface and weighed it in her hands. It was exciting to have a weapon, to consider that she might be able to actually defend herself should something happen, because in the past she simply had to take the blows since she couldn’t do anything about them. But now she would have a bit of leverage and maybe even have the chance of seeming less of a weak target. “You got your holy water?” He added as he and Sam stopped to stand next to her. She nodded and patted her pocket.

“You still sure you wanna come?” Sam repeated the phase she’d repeated a few too many times. She nodded again and smiled, trying to reassure him. They nodded and started across the street with her tagging along behind- they were tall and walked faster than she did; Sam thought it was hilarious when things weren’t as stressful as it was currently. They already knew there were four people with spots rented out in the building, though rumors said one of them was going to be out of town for a few days. Therefore they weren’t surprised to see a complete lack of cars outside as well as no people inside the lobby. A quick peak behind the counter pulled out a record sheet for the rooms; two rooms on the second floor, one on the third and one on the fourth were those being rented, while the landlord had a space on the ground floor.

“Let’s go see if the owner is home.” Sam offered and started down the hall to their left. The place seemed normal, just void of people. The temperature was fine, all the lights were lit, it was clean and as average looking as it gets. They stopped at the door and Dean knocked. After knocking once more with still no answer, he bent down and fiddled with the lock like Sam had done with her cuffs when they first met- she still needed to have them teach her if it wasn’t much of a bother. Such a skill could come in handy should things go downhill for her again. She kicked the depressive thought out of her mind as Dean swung the door open.

The place was a sty. Papers spewed everywhere, clothing articles spread about randomly, and crumpled newspapers skittered as their feet moved them.

“Wow.” Sam said and huffed out a laugh.

“Hey, look- I think you can see some of the carpet over there in the corner.” Dean joked sarcastically and nudged a slightly soggy paper bag warily with his toe. Alex scooted around them to a desk sitting against the wall where a few newspapers that were still in a decent condition were stacked. She picked one up and skimmed her eyes over them and froze- This one was from McCook, Nebraska; that was where they went when she hid in the car, if her memory was correct. She furrowed her eyebrows with confusion and concern and turned to hold it out to Sam. He had been digging through the dresser to the right of her, but turned and took it from her. She watched as realization flowed down his face and he sighed. Strutting over to stand beside her he dug through a few others and mumbled the locations;

“Denver, Fort Collins, Casper, Scottsbluff, McCook. This is almost a straight line in the right direction.” Silence lingered and he dropped the papers loudly back onto the stack. Had they underestimated the demons? If they were able to follow her so closely, wouldn’t they need more manpower? Or were they of higher rank, like the bad ones Sam had told her about?

“Hey.” Dean snapped and held up two fingers from where he was standing behind the door, “Sulfur.” Sam stiffened then nodded before moving a few steps to the table near the small kitchen.

“How old you think this is?” He asked bluntly and picked up a vase of plants. They looked a little wilted, but probably not too old. It was odd that it didn’t have any flowers in it; just greens.

“A few days,” Dean replied then countered, “Why?”

“Landlord is supposed to have been missing for two weeks now. And look at this,” His voice got more enthusiastic as he jerked a plant out and set the vase down, “Yarrow.” Dean brightened up and trotted over to look at the plants then check the vase himself.

“Yarrow?” Alex inquired.

“Used for summoning spells, normally crossroads demons.” Sam answered and Alex nodded silently. So they did have the right place.

“Hey, I got receipts.” Dean chimed and lifted a simple black garbage can onto the table, pulling out a handful of papers. “Jeff Treller, Treller, Treller.” He murmured as he read off the names. Jeff Treller was the landlord’s name. “This here’s a William Bent. Treller.” He peeked back into the can and pulled another out, “Don Paiser.” He mumbled then began stuffing them back as Alex stiffened in place. _Don Paiser_? As in, _her father_? Her emotions flared as if she’d hit speedbump while speeding. After those few moments of watching her demon-possessed dad standing over the corpse of her mother, she’d hardly thought of him again. He had to be possessed though because when she saw him, he had an unsurvivable gash through his heart and solid black eyes. She backed up a few steps with wide eyes. Sam caught her movement and raised his hands warily,

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked, but his words slipped over her head. If her dad was there, then Christopher most likely would be as well, and he’d have blood on his mind. Her father had been the one to bring her to Christopher in the first place- well, the demon possessing him, not her actual dad. Fear crawled down her spine and she shook her head- if Christopher’s nearby he would hear her, he hears everything. Her hands slipped into her hair to brush it anxiously behind her ears. “What, Alex, talk to me.” Sam tried again. A door slammed somewhere in the distance and all three of them flinched into ready-for-action poses. 


	8. An Altering Result

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Action unfolds, hunters are tossed like dolls, humans and demons both bleed, and the result is life-changing.

Dean moved to the door and waited until Sam stood a little in front of Alex to quietly pull it open. Tension rose as he poked his head out along with the barrel of his gun. He pulled back in and stated,

“Clear.” They followed out in a single file line back into the main entrance area and toward the stairs. “You’re with me,” he announced and nodded at Alex. She nodded back and fought to keep her straight face from twisting with dread. They moved to the second floor where it ended perpendicular with a hallway- she and Dean turned left while Sam turned right. With hushed footsteps they made their way over until they froze as a distanced mumble of talking reached their ears. It was coming from the right of them and there was only one door in sight on that side, so they moved forward and stopped a few feet from it. “ _Stay back_ ,” Dean mouthed before reaching for the handle. The voices died down instantly and shiver of unease blew across every patch of Alex’s exposed skin. He kicked it open and swung the gun up as he slipped with terrifying grace into the room- and was instantly shoved forcefully back through to hit the wall.

Her dad was confirmed as the assailant as he slipped through the frame and kicked Dean’s shoulder with his heel as he had moved to get up. Her dad- no, this wasn’t her dad. Don felt… somewhat better to say. The sight was so alien and shocking that she froze up and stared with wide eyes. Dean toppled backwards and hit the wall before moving forward again. “Run!” Dean spat as he threw a punch that luckily connected with Don’s throat- though the demon barely even seemed fazed. Alex turned on her heel and crashed into a body she had not known was even there. Arms wrapped around her, spun her around, and pushed her against the wall with their forearm. Regret flooded into her veins as she looked up at the familiar sneer that often decorated Christopher’s face.

Her mind’s gears seemed to freeze up, unable to process that this was real, that she was actually back in Christopher’s painful grasp. All she could really feel was overflowing terror before she even felt the pain in her wrist- she hadn’t noticed she’d raised it defensively and he’d smashed it against the wall.

“Oh how I’ve been looking for my lost little puppy.” He murmured with a calm voice. A crash beside her captured a fragment of her attention and she noticed Don get thrown on his back by a raging-mad Dean. Gosh those Winchesters could fight. But all too soon he was stopped as well- Christopher released one hand from Alex and flicked it at Dean, sending him stumbling backwards into the room. Nonchalantly the demon tugged her along by her stinging wrist into the room as well. Dean was already back on his feet and swung at Christopher- futilely, because he was instantly shoved back and pressed by an unseen force against the wall with a pained grimace adorning his face. Two more demons were present in the room; one near the doorway and one against the far wall with his arms crossed casually as if he was watching ice-skating on TV.

“Calm down, Dean.” Christopher snapped before turning to face Alex. She herself was barely standing on her fear-weakened knees with her eyes locked sternly on the ground. This cannot be happening- of course she’d considered it in her worst nightmares, but the new hope that had sprouted within her made her doubt this ever would come to be. “But oh, how I’ve missed you,” He hissed cheerily and quickly tugged her against him in the most horrid form of a hug she could imagine, running his hand sickeningly up her back. He shoved her aside as you would a door, but kept his hand locked on her wrapped wrist. “Oh, I should have known it was you bloody Winchesters the moment you stomped on into my world.”

“Don’t you touch her,” Dean spat in an almost inhuman snarl.

“I’ll do what I want.” Christopher countered with lowered eyebrows and pulled her back to his side with him arm over her shoulder. She felt her pulse quicken but didn’t even have it in her to resist- she could instantly feel herself slip back into the self-preservation act of submission. This man- monster- had spent seven years destroying her, how was she supposed to be strong now just because she got away once?

“Let go of her!” Dean shouted back gruffly.

“You need to learn to shut up.” Christopher murmured with a quiet and calm voice before raising his clenched fist. She watched Dean in horror as he doubled over as much as the paralyzing force would allow and began to cough. Confusion, pain, and slight panic flashed in that order across his face. The second he coughed into his shoulder and blood was visible Alex reacted on an instinct that she didn’t even know she still had,

“Stop, stop it!” She cried out and tugged weakly at her wrist. Christopher practically stumbled in place and spun to face her with rage flaring in his eyes.

“What have you done?” He snarled as he twisted his head to stare at Dean. His concentration had faltered and he had forgotten about Dean, but now he remembered- and he was _mad_. He shoved Alex backwards, sending her onto her back and side where she cringed from searing pain on her injured ribs. As soon as the spots cleared a gunshot filled the room and she ducked her head despite the pain it brought. Sam sprinted in seemingly uninjured yet covered with blood- it must have been the blood of whomever he had apparently defeated. He shot again and Christopher stumbled back but still raised his hand as Sam hit the wall near Dean.

“Have some respect!” Christopher boomed as he pressed his free hand over the wound on his elbow that had already began dripping with blood. A grin pulled across his face that was wide enough to reveal his teeth.  “Look’ie here, my top three most-wanted.” He laughed and walked forward a step with a curious smile, “And you’ve confused my pet- that is just rude.” He had a tone as if he was talking to a child as he spoke. Alex propped herself up onto her elbows then began trying to get back to her feet. “Not now Alexandra, child, the adults are talking.” Christopher said and threw an icy glare at her that sent dread down her spine before turning to face the boys again. “You know, I taught her very, very well. You must have noticed by now.”

“I’ll kill you.” Sam snapped back and fought against the force, managing to get his arms off before getting slammed back against the wall. Christopher laughed loudly in response and strode back to Alex, tugging her to her feet. She stumbled but mostly righted herself. As he turned back to face them she moved her hands up as if to grasp at the hand clenching the collar of her shirt, but slyly slipped the small flask of holy water shakily into her palm in the action. She pressed it against her stomach to hide it from sight, but still felt as if he would find out and get even angrier.

“It’s hard, you know, to endure pain without a auditory response,” Christopher said with a bouncing tone to his voice that instantly told Alex he was going to try something- and he did. A flick of his hand toward the boys and Sam cried out through his teeth while Dean hissed loudly, “You see? But this one, she’s so special.” He added and pulled her to stumble in front of him. A knife was pulled from his pocket and he spun it expertly in his hands. Quickly he wrapped an arm around her shoulder to keep her pressed against him and from moving, and pulled it smoothly across the side of her neck. He chuckled quietly and as soon as he lessened his grasp she doubled over and pressed her hands against the burning gash. Blood was already filling her fingers and spilling around them, and her vision tilted a little. Not a single sound escaped her- she knew any form of sound would only bring more pain, and her years of being forced to stay quiet through pain had kicked back in the moment she’d seen him. But that didn’t mean all her senses weren’t instantly overloaded with blinding pain. “See, there’s my girl, we’ll have to work out that talking bit a little though, won’t we?” Terror once again slid through her veins- no, that couldn’t happen. It- it wasn’t **_fair_**. In her doubled position she unscrewed the lid from the flask with her thumb, then upon standing tried to step forward out of his grasp. Knowing him and getting used to his reactions after seven years, she already expected him to spin her to face him. As soon as he tugged her to face him and she locked eyes with his sneer and splashed the water across his disgusting, beaming face.

He howled and dropped the collar of her shirt as steam ascended from his currently searing face. He growled a curse and slunk forward to step down hard on her knee. It cracked loudly and she immediately dropped to the ground in pain. She jumped as she heard a noise behind her and flinched again as Dean brushed past her- Christopher had lost his focus.

If sound effects could be hear as they were on TV, everyone would have heard tires screeching to a stop as her mind connected some dots- the knife was still tucked in her waistband under her shirt. She jerked it out and as Christopher struck out and connect his fist with Dean, she slid it on the ground toward Sam. He grabbed it and moved into the fight. But she couldn’t watch- her neck, ribs, and knee were screaming with more pain than before. Carefully, she pressed her hands against her neck and moved so she could sit with her knee in front of her on the ground; it looked as if it was bent at a slightly unnatural angle. There was a shout and she heard someone fall, then another. She managed to ignore the burning pain in her knee and neck and looked up to see Dean get shoved backwards. He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her to protectively hug her to his chest, then began reciting the exorcism ritual. Christopher’s head snapped inhumanly fast to face Dean with an astounded and furious expression. This lapse of concentration was his downfall and Alex snapped her eyes shut as Sam smoothly stabbed the knife into Christopher’s back.

When she opened her eyes, she scanned the room before her. The two lesser demons were both bloody and dead on the floor. Don was in the corner and though she couldn’t see blood looked to be dead as well. The idea of seeing her father’s corpse didn’t affect her too much because for seven years she already knew that even if a demon was using his body, her father died long ago. Sam was standing with a heaving chest beside another body- Christopher was laying on his stomach on the ground, unmoving. Even her thoughts stuttered and halted as she went over the scene again and again in her head but it still didn’t make sense. Christopher was… dead? Those words sounded alien when put in that order. Christopher was _dead_? _Christopher_ was dead? Dead, as in, would never touch or hurt or affect her life in any way ever again? Dean waited a few seconds to gently push her from against his chest to look her over.

“Sammy.” He snapped, and Sam was suddenly kneeling beside her. Dean shrugged off his jacket and pressed her against her neck, though her world spun a bit and she wobbled in place.

“Oh God, it’s okay, you’ll be fine.” Sam said with wide eyes as he attempted to reassure her. It felt like her head was slowly filling up with cotton- she’d lost large amounts of blood before and therefore recognized the feeling.

“I’m gonna pick you up, okay? We gotta get outta here.” Dean replied, then slipped one hand under her knees and another against her back without even waiting for a reply. She winced and whined very quietly as he picked her up and he faltered- Alex _never_ made noises when hurt. She instantly passed out.

\----------------

_“Okay, keep your chin up; you don’t wanna knock it if you pull back too fast.” Derrick stated and Alex watched him carefully as he extended then pulled his fist back to demonstrate a simple move. She did the same and he nodded and stepped forward calmly. “Don’t lock your elbow for this one.” He added and pressed against the crook of her elbow until it bent slightly, “It’ll help you absorb impact.” Alex grinned and nodded her head, brushing her hair behind her shoulders and regretting not braiding it back. She noticed her brother check his watch and raised her eyebrows. “12:30.” He announced and walked across the room. It was their makeshift boxing gym in their basement, which made it even more special than going to an actual gym._

_He retrieved a water bottle and handed it to her, then one for himself._

_“Oh, so I’m with Dad again tomorrow, so we’ll have to skip.” Alex informed him casually. Ever since that man had broken in, Derrick had stepped up as the protective-older-brother and had started teaching her the basics he learned from boxing with his high school team. Alex was extremely excited since she’d always loved being active in any way, but mostly because she got to do something with her brother. He was always busy with his friends or boxing and she with her own classes and activities, so getting to spend time with him was great. She looked up to him._

_“That’s alright, Johnny asked me to go with him to the lake tomorrow through Sunday.” He grinned and idly crunched the plastic of his water bottle. A door closed above them and she jumped to her feet,_

_“Mom’s home.” She announced with a smile and moved to the stairs, “She wants help with groceries today.” She added as she sprinted up them._

\---------------

The feeling of movement was what tugged her back to consciousness. It was subtle but still discernible. There was a weight on her neck that she realized was not of her doing and she panicked and sat up. At the same time as she snapped her eyes open she was pushed back down and she realized she was in the impala, laying down in the back seat. She moved to sit up again and her tired mind discovered someone was talking to her.

“Whoa, calm down.” Sam stammered and she tugged her hand to the weight on her neck. Sam was sitting next to her in the back seat and was still holding a coat to her neck.

“She awake?” Dean quipped from the driver’s seat.

“Yeah,” Sam replied and slowly let her sit up. Her head spun in response though and she heavily thumped her head against the window. That of course didn’t feel too great, and as soon as she tried to move her leg the pain in her knee made her consider going back to sleep- or whatever else it was she had awoken from. She pinched her eyes shut and let her head lull forward, but Sam denied her the peace of sleep. “No, no come on Alex, you gotta stay awake.” He alerted her quietly and shifted the coat on her neck. When he removed it she opened her eyes and brought her hand to it and pulled it back to find it covered in warm blood- was it really still bleeding? Where had that come from again? Her eyes felt heavy from the panic at the sight of so much blood, so she closed them only for Sam to replace the coat and shake her shoulder. “Stay awake.” His voice sounded panicked which only frightened her more. Oh yeah, the cut was from Christopher- Christopher; he was dead now, wasn’t he? Dead, gone- _good riddance._

“She still bleeding?” Dean asked, and Alex was shocked even big strong Dean had a twinge of fear in his voice. Despite Sam trying to hold her back she sat up completely. Though when she tried to move her legs off the seat he drew the line and pressed her shins to the seat; that was okay, because the movement hurt immeasurably and she didn’t really plan on trying a third time.

“Yeah.” Sam breathed and tapped her free hand, “Hold this.” He stated and she moved her hand to hold the coat to her neck as Sam leaned to the passenger seat to grab something.

“Hospital?” Dean asked Sam quietly and she could have sworn she heard his voice waver. Her chest tightened at the thought because none of her visits to hospitals had been pleasant, to say the least. She shook her head weakly once Sam returned.

“Kiddo, I’m sorry but we have to.” Dean said and she caught him watching her through the mirror in between the dizzy spells.

“No, no.” She mumbled almost incoherently and feebly tugged on the sleeve of Sam’s shirt, willing to make any attempt she could to avoid the hospital. Sam stared at her for a few straight seconds, then back to Dean.

Apparently she’d pushed her limit of consciousness and slumped against the window as the corners of her vision blackened. Sam instantly pressed the coat she had dropped back against her neck and stumbled over his words from panic. “No, please, you gotta stay awake.” She nodded weakly but only heard about half of the things he was saying to her. She faded in and out of consciousness until the movement of the car stopping caught her weak attention and was surprised to see the hotel through the window. Sam got out and the door next to her opened at the same time and she would have fallen had Dean not been there. He hefted her easily into his arms and the next thing she knew he was setting her down in the hotel room. She blinked and quickly sat up only to have Sam once against push her back down. She obeyed and stared at the ceiling- which for some reason in her loopy state was actually quite interesting- until she dropped back asleep once more.

This time when she woke up it felt like she had slept for years. It had been a long time since she’d woken up and not been instantly fully awake. Instead her eyes and limbs were heavy and her mind still clearing the haze of sleep. She rubbed her eyes and paused as she felt something on her neck. She discovered she had a bandage of some sort on it and sat up slowly.

“Finally,” She heard Dean breathe with relief dripping from his voice. She opened her eyes and watched Dean get up from the chair at the table, shake Sam’s shoulder to wake him, then shuffle to stand beside her bed. She blinked and looked around absently. “You scared us to death.” Dean added and smiled softly at her.

“Why?” Alex asked groggily, her sleepy mind not quite grasping what he was talking about.

“You lost a lot of blood,” Sam explained and leaned against the wall beside Dean. “You’ve been out for six hours, couldn’t wake you up.” He added with a relieved chuckle. That’s right- Christopher had slit her neck and busted her knee. She cautiously bent her knee and instantly regretted it and folded over in sharp pain. “Careful; careful, we haven’t even been able to ask you what’s hurt and what’s not.” Sam explained and she slowly sat back up to find him and Dean standing cautiously next to her, Dean’s hands hovering as if he wanted to help but didn’t know how. She let out a huff of air she’d been denying from escaping her lungs and ran her hands shakily through her hair. “Can you tell us what hurts?” Sam asked after a few moments of dense silence. Her chest tightened at the thought of talking with the past events still so fresh in her mind but nodded her head hesitantly.

“Knee is the worst.” She said quietly enough that she worried they hadn’t heard her, but Sam stiffened as Dean nodded his head.

“I told you it looked wonky.” He said and rubbed his face as he bumped past Sam’s shoulder to leave the room, probably for a first aid kit. They seemed to have a lot of those, which made sense if this sort of thing was something they did as a living. Sam tapped the blanket that had been tossed over her and she moved it carefully but avoided looking at her knee. The way it felt, it was probably out of place and she knew that was going to be a too-graphic image for someone was already feeling queasy. Sam hissed and she flinched, looking up as he leaned around the corner to talk with Dean quietly. She was tired and didn’t even bother to try and hear what they were saying until she noticed Sam glance back at her and nervously lick his lips. This was enough to convince her to skim her eyes over her knee- it was most definitely dislocated, grossly purple, and slightly swollen. She blinked and stared at the wall as she tried to scrub the nauseating image from her mind until Sam returned with Dean in tow. They shuffled awkwardly until Dean conspicuously kicked Sam’s ankle to successfully urge him to talk.

“So, your knee is dislocated,” He stated even though it was obvious, “And we gotta pop it back in, if you think you can handle it.” The tension from his tone sent shivers down her spine and she contorted her face in confusion. She’d never had her knee popped out of place, and he was acting so timid that it actually frightened her. Therefore when he stepped forward she inched away a teeny bit.

“What do you mean?” She forced out even though her instincts were urging her to stay silent. She mentally kicked herself- talking was okay, Christopher wasn’t here, Sam and Dean wouldn’t ever hurt her-

“It’s not going to be very,” Sam started only for Dean to interrupt him;

“It’s going to hurt like hell.” Sam snapped his mouth shut then nodded his head. She ground her teeth and dropped her eyes. Oh. Well, they would never hurt her _on purpose_ , only to help her.

“Okay, just quick and easy.” Sam stated and moved to stand beside her, wanting to do what you do with little kids and a band aid- quick and easy. Sadly they shouldn’t have said anything in the first place, because the anticipation was getting to her and she shrunk away with wide eyes from him as soon as he rested his hand on the bed.

She caught Dean make a worried and empathetic expression and watched as he sighed and calmly sat on the bed beside her. Alex stiffened at first before she realized what was happening and jumped to make assumptions. He simply scooted to sit so she resting against his shoulder, picked up her hand and sandwiched it comfortingly between his own warm hands. And it made her feel _safe._ It would have frightened her in the past, but she actually felt safe- something she hadn’t felt in quite some time. Sam smiled at her and she felt her nerves bunch back up when he placed his hands on his knee.

“Hey, kiddo,” Dean chirped and she turned to glance at him to see what he wanted and Sam took the opportunity Dean had purposely created to pop it back in. She must have jumped nearly a foot in the air and smashed her pained face against Dean’s shoulder with a whimper so quiet she wasn’t even sure if she’d made the sound at all or just in her head. Her head started to feel heavy, but apparently this time her passing out wasn’t a bad thing because Dean calmly rubbed her hand with her thumb as everything cut off into unconsciousness.

She woke up the same way, feeling still logged with sleep and heavy eyes. Though her mind was still hazy, it still kicked back into motion at a simple, random thought; was she… free? Christopher was dead, Devin was dead, and the majority of Christopher’s followers were dead. They were the ones who had kept her in a personal hell, but now she was with Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean would never hurt her, they were the ones who saved her. Finally after seven years, she might actually be… free. She didn’t have to be afraid or hide, no one was going to hurt her, and she could _talk_ \- sing, shout, laugh and do whatever she wanted. A smile tugged at her mouth at the thought, and Sam and Dean, who she spotted at the table watching her, both raised their eyebrows in confusion, but seemed they couldn’t keep the corners of their mouths from turning upwards as well.


	9. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they return to the bunker, it's obvious that not only are Alex's physical injuries healing, but her fear is dwindling. They take that in stride and continue to help her heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a cuter one to balance out all the fighting and 'stuffs I forced on y'all in the last two chapters!
> 
> One more chapter left, thanks to anyone who stuck around long enough to follow my story despite was random posting pattern :)

Once Alex was stable, her and the boys packed up and trekked back to the bunker to finish healing up. After that, they began very slowly working to help coax Alexandra to not be afraid. Little things, and it seemed she achieved a decent learning curve.

“Oh- I turn my back for ten seconds.” Dean chided and laughed, motioning toward Alex. She laughed as well and looked down at the counter in front of her. He was in the progress of teaching her to make burgers, and he’d simply asked her to get some lettuce. But the lettuce was being difficult, and now not only was the plate covered in teeny shreds of lettuce, but also the entire counter in front of her, her hands, and a few pieces had escaped onto the floor.

“It’s being mean.” She stated with a clear pout on her face. Dean laughed again and shook his head as she attempted to scavenge the most decent pieces from her shreds while he continued prodding the cooking beef.

She peered over her shoulder and grinned as she caught Sam wave at her and slow from a run to a walk. She slowed down herself and hooked her elbow around the lamppost to turn herself around to catch her breath and watch Sam catch up with a grin on her face.

“I swear you have endless energy.” Sam huffed as he laced his fingers behind his head as he caught his breath. The first few times he’d convinced her to go with on his morning runs they never went far since she was still afraid to go too far from the bunker, which was reasonable, but now they were running his normal amount and she almost always ended up passing him. So many years of being locked in a room or bound with chains made her constantly itching with extra energy, and apparently she was really good at running.

She laughed and fiddled with her ponytail until he sighed and nodded his head,

“Okay, you win this one, I’m done,” He declared and ran his hands through his own hair, “Where are we eating this time?” She still wasn’t the best at eating, so in an effort to fix that Sam decided that the first person to stop running was the loser, and the winner picked where they ate breakfast. She simply grinned widely and he groaned, “That café _again_?” He asked with an exasperated tone and rolled his eyes with a laugh. He waved dismissively at her and laughed, “Fine, you won fair and square.” She grinned again and laughed along with him- they had gone to this one café a few times back, and now every time she won she’d pick there. Sam didn’t really mind, he might be getting sick of scones and heavily addicted to coffee, but at least she wasn’t skin and bones anymore and was doing infinitely better. She hadn’t touched coffee yet, claiming it “smelled weird”.

“No, it can't be a werewolf, the lunar cycle isn’t even half right.” Alex replied to Sam and he nodded his head,

“True. But we’ve seen some weird wolves.” He countered.

“The cuts were from a knife, not claws or teeth; you think a wolf would take the time?” She tossed back at him as she handed the pictures they’d printed from his laptop. He clicked his tongue and nodded his head in agreement. After a few weeks they had gotten bored hanging out in the bunker, and she’d been put in charge of helping Sam with research as they looked for cases, and occasionally she’d talk on the phone with them when they went out to investigate. A lot of the books were still hard reads, but she was getting the hang of it.

Sam shuffled through the papers then paused, and a curious look on his face drew in her attention. He pulled a few papers from the bottom of the stack and looked them over and glanced at her with a curious smile.

“You draw these?” He asked and handed the papers back to her. She recognized them and nodded nonchalantly,

“Yeah, from pictures in the books and lore.” She explained. The one on top was a wendigo, the next the patterns of a Djinn’s arm, and the third a vampire’s anatomy including an x-ray sketch of the retracted teeth.

“Those are awesome.” He said with an impressed tone and reached to look at them again. She chuckled and handed them to him again. In her spare time when she was younger she used to draw, and it only felt right to pick it back up again. And with so many books of monsters and creatures she had endless inspiration.

“Dean, come ‘ere.” Alex shouted excitedly with a grin as she trotted from the hallway looking for him. She spotted him in the library with some books in front of him and padded quickly to his side. He arched his eyebrow and looked her over.

“What’s up?” He asked and she lifted her hands- they were cupped together and holding something tightly inside. She slowly opened her hands on the table and giggled gleefully as a rather large spider skittered across her palm. He leaned back a bit and seemed to process what was going on.

“Um, I don’t want that.” He answered bluntly and huffed out a laugh.

“Let’s name him.” She countered and retrieved it as it attempted to escape under his book. She couldn’t help it; the only living thing she ever had in her room when with Christopher was a spider that lasted a few weeks. Therefore she had adopted a liking for them- if they could survive, why couldn’t she?

“Why in the world would I do that?” He laughed with a bewildered tone, and she glanced at Sam as he walked in as well.

“Do what?” He asked innocently and she spun to face him and held out the spider in her palm. He stepped back as well and looked from her to Dean and back with unmasked confusion. “Am I missing something here?”

“We’re gonna name him.” She mumbled and cupped her hands again to keep it from escaping.

“That’s… nice.” Sam said slowly and watched her with a hint of concern. “You’re acting weird today.” He stated and raised his eyebrow.

“I tried coffee last night; I don’t know how you drink that stuff, I haven’t slept since yesterday night.” Sam and Dean both busted out laughing and she grinned, shoving the spider at Sam only to laugh as he flinched away.

“No more coffee for you.” Dean interjected and turned back to his books.                                                                                                                                   

“At least I can spell it right now.” She stated and stuck out her tongue childishly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for anyone who has a fear of spiders; I personally find them adorable! x3


	10. Brothers Meet Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean leave on a "hunt" only to come back with shocking and amazing news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter- thanks for reading all this, guys! Sorry it's longer than I meant for it to be, apparently I am incapable of writing anything shorter! Any comments would be greatly appreciated, s'only the second one I'd written and would love advice or critique :)

With yawn that crinkled her nose, Alex stretched in her spot on the couch and looked around the room while she closed her book. She’d been particularly interested in the few books they had on familiars because of the unknown ways that they find and bond with their witch-soulmates. Sam and Dean were in Idaho cleansing a house from a poltergeist. They called her yesterday to tell her they got it, and that they were just gonna drive through the night to get back instead of staying at a motel. She thought that was odd since they normally would stay the night, but dismissed it. She glanced at the clock- actually, they should be back any time now.

Alex rolled to her feet and padded to the kitchen. She had considered making food, but knew they wouldn’t have waited to eat and would have gotten food on the road as always. Therefore she simply got something to drink and wandered back to linger near the stairs. Almost on cue she heard the familiar engine and excitedly bounced from foot to foot and set the orange juice down to jog up the stairs. They hadn’t told her practically anything about the case- only that it was in Idaho and a poltergeist, so she was deathly curious to know what even happened on their trip. Right as she reached to open the door it already moved and she jumped back as Dean opened it. He jumped in surprise at her being right there then chuckled and patted her head as he shuffled in.

“Hey, kid.” He stated and moved out of the way as Sam walked in. She tilted her head to the side curiously- neither of them had any of their bags on them, but she shrugged it off and followed them down the stairs.

“How did it go?” She asked quietly though she smiled excitedly. She loved hearing their stories about what happened; not only did she love learning about the monsters and how hunting worked, but they both told the stories in their own unique ways. Sam gave more information and details, while Dean cracked jokes and gave comparisons- and it was hilarious to watch them squabble over little details of what _really_ happened. Sam gave her an odd look at first then she could practically see the ‘lightbulb’ moment as he realized what she was asking.

“Oh- the uh, poltergeist.” They were acting weird, and it instantly iced her excitement into a more serious tone. “I sort of wasn’t telling the truth when I said that.” He laughed nervously, but a smile played across his lips and brought a confused expression onto her countenance. Dean scoffed quietly and crossed his arms while glancing at Sam knowingly. “We were actually following a different lead up there. We uh, found someone we wanted to go check up on, since we saw him in a picture on the news of some ‘satanic graffiti’- someone had used spray paint to make a devil’s trap on a back road.” Alex’s eyes widened- why didn’t they just say that in the first place?

“Was it an old friend or something?” She asked and cocked her head to the other side.

“You could say that.” Dean mumbled and as a smile stretched across his mouth as well. There was an awkwardness about the conversation that was creating a rock of nerves in her stomach- was she missing something? It was as if they had an inside joke that she didn’t understand.

“We wanted to make sure it was safe because of all the symbols, but, Alex, we found your brother. Derrick.” Sam announced. If a grin hadn’t covered his face she would have been worried they found him as in, his corpse- but had they actually found him? Alive and well, while she had half assumed he was dead? A few weeks ago she had tried looking online for him, but barely knew how to use the laptop and asked Sam to help. He jumped at the task and took it into his own hands to start looking, but apparently he found him and hadn’t mentioned it to her. It made sense that he had wanted to make sure he wasn’t a demon or anything cause of the symbols, but she still wished he’d told her the minute he found him. It was her _brother_ , her big brother, her only family and best friend. A shock smile spread across her face on its own volition and she stumbled over her words.

“He- he’s okay? How did you find him?” She brought her hands up and ran them through her hair as she tried to understand that he brother was really okay. For all this time while she was captured it was easier to assume he was dead, because if he was alive there was a good chance he could be suffering as she was. All this time he was alive and she had no idea, no way of finding him because of Christopher. He probably thought _she_ was dead.

“Yeah, he’s doing good. We tried to bring him, but, uh,” Dean started then laughed and shook his head, “He wouldn’t come with us- he wouldn’t believe us.” Alex laughed loudly once then covered her mouth- that actually did sound like him. He was pretty reserved and probably even more so after a demon took away all of his family, so two creepy men coming up saying they had his sister probably sounded too good to be true. “He sort of let on that he knew it was demons- he must have found something at your house- and he bailed on us when we tried to get him to come with us.” He knew about demons? How much- did he know demons had taken her, or just that demons were what attacked their family? Did he know why?

“Are you gonna go back? I have to see him.” She pleaded and ran her hands through her hair once again, still in shock. Sam laughed and nodded his head after raising his hands to stop her and reply,

“That’s why we came back right away. He wouldn’t come with us-”

“I tried to drag him to the car but he socked me in the throat, guy can _definitely_ hold his own, and we couldn’t try again ‘cause he started making a scene.” Dean said, interrupting Sam. He glowered and rubbed his neck where, now that he mentioned it, a deep purple bruise was forming. Alex smirked- yeah, they definitely found her brother.

“He calmed down and we talked a little, and he agreed to wait there for us to bring you there.” Alex instantly perked up and nodded, grabbing Sam’s sleeve and tugging it as she jogged backwards toward the stairs. “Whoa, okay,” Sam blurted and chuckled before freeing himself. “Give us a minute, we just drove eleven hours.” Dean laughed and raised his hand to intercept;

“ _I_ just drove eleven hours; you’re driving the next, Sammy.” He tossed the keys at Sam and raised one finger to tell her to wait as he escaped into the kitchen.

“Sorry I didn’t say anything when I first saw the picture of him. He was in the background in the crowd around a _devil’s trap_ , and I just had to make sure, ya’ know?” She smiled and nodded her head,

“Yeah, I understand.” When they first took her, when she saw her dad possessed, she considered that they might have done the same to Derrick. All she could do between her times as a demon chew-toy was think and overthink things. One topic that she worried about was that they might have gotten Derrick too. At first she worried they might have possessed him because they did that to her dad, but after a while she became more and more frightened that they might have captured him like they did to her. But after three years of not seeing any family, she had adopted the idea that he was probably dead- otherwise Christopher would have used him against her. But God, to now know he’s alive and well, so much relief filled every crevice of her mind.

Alex tapped Sam’s shoulder and stared at him as he turned around. He rolled his eyes and turned back around as he answered.

“Still nine minutes, one minute less than when you asked last time.” She huffed and sat back in her seat to press her forehead against the window and stare out. She had fallen asleep halfway there, but now her excitement and nerves had her on edge and she scoured the town, Blackfoot, for the diner Sam said they were meeting him at.

“How much _does_ he know?” She asked quietly. She didn’t even know if he knew where she had been for these seven years.

“Some. He didn’t tell us much, but I don’t think he knew what happened to you. From what it sounded like he was pretty sure demons had you, and that’s why he was trying to summon and trap one. But I don’t think he knows at all what they did to you.” Sam explained, glancing back at her with an analyzing look. She nodded and turned to stare back out the window. She wasn’t really sure if she _wanted_ him to know or not. Wouldn’t he be better off not knowing? She instinctively ran her hand on the fading mark on her neck where the cut was almost completely healed. Sam must have seen because he sighed and spoke again. “I think he should know what happened, though,” she jerked her head over with wide eyes to stare at him, her body stiffening. She could barely tell Sam and Dean anything that had happened- technically Castiel had been the one to tell them most of it. “You don’t have to say it, Dean and I can tell him, but, he should know.” She dropped her eyes and hesitated a few moments before nodding her head and turning back to the window. It would probably be better if they told him rather than herself. She still got nervous when she said more than a few sentences, much less explaining seven years’ worth of being tortured.

“Kid, other window.” Dean chirped and she instantly pressed herself against the window on his side of the car. She spotted him in the parking lot, sitting on the hood of a green car. He looked older of course, but was still the same brother she knew and loved- messy and semi-short red hair that matched hers, freckles that covered the majority of his face and arms, and had his fingers linked behind his head like he always used to. When they turned into the parking lot she fumbled and tore her seatbelt off, watching as he noticed them and slid off the hood. She didn’t even wait for Dean to fully stop the car and shoved the door open despite Sam calling her name.

She sprinted over and wrapped her arms around him and felt him instantly hug his own arms around her, nearly crushing the air out of her lungs. She was completely overwhelmed with relief and joy- she felt _safe_. Safer than they had in seven years. He hugged the same, smelled the same, he _was_ the same- he was her brother, her best friend. Hot but happy tears streamed down her cheeks and she pressed her face into his chest. She hear Sam and Dean get out of the car and stepped back to wipe her face only to step forward and hug him again. He laughed and ruffled the top of her head as he pushed her back to look her over.

She was grinning despite the tears on her face and glanced over her shoulder as Sam and Dean stopped beside her. Derrick quickly reached out and shook hands meaningfully with Dean, then Sam, then turned back to Alex.

“God, Alex.” He murmured and tugged her back over to his side with his arm over her shoulder, “I thought you were dead.” She laughed quietly and nodded her head.

“I thought you were too.” He laughed at that and she felt him rest his chin on her head.

“Sorry I didn’t believe you guys.” He said with a laugh toward Sam and Dean and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Nah, you’re fine man. We get it.” Dean replied and clapped Derrick’s shoulder. Derrick wouldn’t be able to tell of course, but Alex could tell Sam and Dean still seemed a little wary of her brother, stuck being protective over her as usual. She didn’t mind- they were practically brothers to her at this point. Derrick tightened his arm on her shoulder and she glanced at him.

“God I missed you.” He murmured then shook his head in what looked like disbelief, “What even happened to you? I- I found Mom, but you and Dad…” He trailed off and Alex’s smile faded a bit as she couldn’t help but glance at Sam. He smiled softly at her and nodded his head. Derrick caught the exchange and Sam jerked his head to the side to motion for Derrick to follow him.

“You two talk, Alex and I will go get some grub.” Dean announced and patted the shoulder Derrick wasn’t hugging her on. Her brother cocked his head to the side curiously and hesitated before slowly releasing Alex and following Sam with his arms crossed. Sam stuffed his hands in his pockets and they wandered the short distance to lean against the side of the impala. Dean whistled quietly to get her attention since she was staring, and she reluctantly turned to see what he wanted.

“Come on, he’ll be fine. Let’s go get a table.” He tried, obviously not wanting her to stand there and have to listen to them. She glanced back over at them then grudgingly nodded and followed Dean into the building. She tore away from his side instantly though and jogged to the nearest empty table to stare out the window. She painfully watched them without wavering despite Dean’s jokes and attempts to distract her. Derrick seemed to get more and more anxious, running his hands through his hair, rubbing his face, and even walked in a circle with his hands behind his head a few times before returning to Sam, who waited patiently with his arms crossed. Sam had been through the same thing- listening to what Alex had gone through for the first time, and it wasn’t fun. Dean must have been thinking about the same thing cause he was quieted down and only spoke to tell the waitress who walked over they were waiting for some people and to come back later.

When they turned and started walking back she watched until they reached the door then jumped up to meet them. As she rounded the corner, Derrick caught sight of her and had a pained and apologetic expression on his face. He stepped forward without a word and pulled her into another hug, one hand on her back and the other on the back of her head with his mouth pressed against the top of her head. She even felt his breath hitch a little as if he was attempting to keep his composure.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered through her hair. She pressed her hands on his chest to get him to release her. “I tried so hard to find you…”

“I’m okay,” she breathed and gave him a small smile, “I’m okay now.” She added and stepped forward to rest her forehead against his chest. He sighed and rubbed her back comfortingly and she could have sworn she felt the calmest and safest she had even been.


End file.
